Rediscover Your Sex Life and Save Your Marriage

A lot of marriages fail because the passion is gone in each other's eye. How many of you are in the same dilemma? How many of you wake up beside the same person for years now but the connection is already gone? The feeling is like you're living with a complete stranger. There's something wrong in the relationship. The magic is fast disappearing. The obsession is no longer there as it used to be.

But do you know that a night of passionate sex can spice up any failing relationship? Sometimes, people think the marriage is failing because something has changed. But that isn't always the case. More often than not, marriages fail because something has been missing all along. In this case, the thing's lacking is the union that you and your partner used to have.

Needless to say, you have to rekindle that romance. As partners, you have to start rediscovering your sex life as one. Doing this could save your marriage. Sometimes, the solution to marital problems can be so simple. And it's staring at you right in the face each night you lay beside your partner. To make your marriage work, maybe all you have to do is be the passionate lover that you used to be.

There are different ways to rediscover sex with your partner. You can do it together or you can simply show your partner what sex should really be. Slowly introduce new things into your sex life. Don't be too hasty in doing exaggerated moves that would shock your partner.

Slowly, passionately, and lovingly, lead your partner into new sex positions that both of you would enjoy. Use sex toys every once in a while to reach the limits of your ecstasy. You just have to fulfill the satisfaction of your partner. Do it both in and out of bed and he or she would definitely love you more. By sharing your new-found love and passion with one another, marital problems can disappear. And your marriage will certainly be stronger and be more enduring.

Sex is a very important aspect of married life. It should never be ignored or taken for granted. Sexual needs are real needs and they have to be satisfied. It is not wrong to admit to your partner that either one of you lacks passion in bed. By being open with your sexual needs, you are actually opening the possibility of making your marriage work again.



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Couples should know their responsibilities to one another. Rekindle the romance you have and it will be a big help to save your marriage.

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Five Things You Can Do to Improve Your Marriage

Issues That You Should Not Ignore


Although there are many ways to improve your marriage, this list of five things you can do to improve your marriage is centered around major red flag issues that can tear your

Don't Take Each Other for Granted

If you are taking your spouse for granted because you believe that your partner will always be there for you, you are making a huge mistake.

Take the time and make the effort to be kind, thoughtful, appreciative, respectful, supportive, and affirming towards your spouse.

Not taking your spouse for granted means going beyond remembering your anniversary and your spouse's birthday. Not taking your spouse for granted means being tuned in to how your spouse feels and what your spouse thinks. Not taking your spouse for granted means you listen, you don't interrupt, and you show and tell your spouse of your love.


Work Together to Improve Your Sex Life

If you don't want to end up as one of the "sexless marriage" statistics, don't put your sex life on the low end of your priority list.

Remind yourselves of when you first met and the first twinges of lust that you felt for one another. Leave romantic and suggestive love notes for one another. Flirt with one another. Plan for time alone with one another on a regular basis. Kick the television out of your bedroom.

Showing your spouse how much you love and care often leads to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.


Agree to Do Your Share of Chores Around Your Home

If you want peace, harmony and a clean, organized home, then the two of you need to work together to insure that household tasks such as keeping financial records, maintenance, shopping, yard work, planning, cleaning, cooking, child care, transportation, etc. are shared responsibilities.

Clutter around the house can create stress for both of you so talk about how both of you can routinely keep the clutter to a minimum.

Talk About Your Finances

When you have money it can come between the two of you if you haven't talked about your financial goals, saving money, and spending money.

If your budget is tight, money can create stress and division as you cope with bills and worry.

Attend a financial workshop, talk with a financial planner, learn recommended ways of building a nest egg for emergencies and planning for your retirement. Discuss your finances so the two of you are on the same financial wave length.


Simplify Your Lives

Think about the number of hours you each work, the amount of time you spend on hobbies or on home maintenance, and the time you want to spend with friends or extended family versus the amount of time you spend with one another.

Reevaluate how you both spend your time and consider how to simplify your lives whether you are newlyweds, a couple with children, or an empty nest couple. If you are over worked, over extended, and over tired, you put your marriage at risk.

The idea of downsizing involves more than moving to a smaller home. Downsizing is more about attitude than it is about space.


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Marriage will not work alone, both couple should take their part in a relationship.

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Avoid These Common Harmful Behaviors

Save your marriage

If you or your spouse fall into negative patterns in the way you relate to one another, you are not just in a rut, you are hurting one another and your marriage.

You can't compromise or negotiate these behaviors away. You can't rationalize the behaviors as this is "just the way I am."

In order to save your marriage, these harmful behaviors must stop.

Emotionally and/or Physically Abusing Your Spouse

This should be a no-brainer, but you may think your control over your spouse's daily life or your negative responses to your spouse is okay. It isn't. The day will come when your spouse will say "enough is enough" and your marriage will be over. If you are abusive in any way towards your spouse and children, seek counseling right away.


Breaking Your Promises and Being an Undependable Spouse

Who wants to live with someone who can't be depended on? The more promises you break, the more you say you will do something and then don't, the more you are late or not where you say you will be, the more your spouse will lose trust in you.


Being Jealous

One of the sure ways to drive your spouse away and to destroy your marriage is to show irrational jealousy or to spy on your spouse. If you can't admit to your jealous behavior or change your behavior, seek counseling.


Inability or Not Wanting to Forgive

Resentment over past hurts or betrayals will slowly eat away at your spouse's love for you and doom your marriage. Not forgiving your spouse also harms your own health. Forgiving doesn't mean you forget or that you condone hurtful behavior. Don't let your stubborness or wanting to get revenge cause the end of your marriage.


Putting Romance on the Back Burner

Although your lifestyle situation changes throughout the years, your need for love and affection does not lessen. Talk about your expectations about affection, sex, and romance. Telling yourself that "someday" you will have the time to be romantic will hurt your marriage.


Continuing to Have Unrealistic Expectations

Disillusionment will grow as your expectations continue to be unfulfilled. Once you identify which expectations are based on marriage myths and are unrealistic, talk with one another about having achievable expectations.


Refusing to Listen to or Communicate With Your Spouse

Shutting your spouse out of your life by refusing to talk or to listen is a definite death knell for your marriage. It is so important for you both to share your thoughts and feelings with one another.


Being Unkind or Uncaring Towards Your Spouse

When a lack of caring and kindness or when selfishness creeps into your marriage, the slippery slope to divorce begins. Is it really all that difficult to say "please" or "thank you" to your spouse? Just because the two of you are married doesn't mean you shouldn't be courteous to one another.


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The way you treat your husband or wife creates a big impact in your relationship. In able to save your marriage, learn to respect and communicate to one another.

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Communication in marriage

Husbands and wives should be best friends. If your husband or wife is not your best friend then you two have a lot of work to do to keep your marriage intact and happy. Friends share all experiences, that is, the joy, the pain, the fears, the small and the great things. Nothing is too small and nothing is too big to share with your best friend. Husbands and wives should be able to be themselves all the time they are together – naked and not ashamed. All this is only possible if communication between the two is clear, smooth and genuine. Excellent communication between married people removes suspicion, it prevents wrong actions, misinterpretation and uninformed decision making.

Communication takes place in two main ways, viz: verbal and non-verbal. Verbal communication simply means that the two will talk with each other. They will talk about everything whether painful or enjoyable, the two must talk. For couples to fully understand each other, they must talk. Women are better than men in communication.

Women will readily tell their husbands “I love you”, but most men will find it difficult to say the same statement to their wives. Men reason that she must know that I love her; that is why I married her. That is why I am here with her. That is why I (sometimes) buy her nice things. Well, this is not adequate expression of love you men. You still have to utter those powerful words to your loved wife on a daily basis, or several times each day. Are you too busy to love your wife?

In verbal communication, we should watch out for tone of voice. The tone can distort the message somewhat and the spouse may end up misunderstanding what the other spouse is saying or trying to communicate. Shouting at your spouse is a big No, No, whatever will have happened.

Apportioning blame is also a marriage killer and should be avoided at all times. It is critical to treat all mistakes as “our” mistake rather than “his” mistake or “her” mistake. Further, it is important to always speak the truth in love. Yes, mistakes need to be corrected, but this must be done in love, otherwise the marriage will not be a happy one.
Non-verbal communication can be expressed in various ways. Sometimes there will be hidden anger which simply shows up as a facial expression, a frown or a nasty smile, loaded with pugnacity. It can also be expressed by the spouse throwing themselves in work, reading a newspaper or watching television. This will be anything to avoid the other spouse.
Running away is non-verbal communication, and so is the rattling of dishes and the banging of the doors for no apparent reason. In extreme cases, the children can get a raw deal from one of the spouses even though the problem is not caused by them. Then there is the marriage killer that we call the “silent treatment.” The spouse simply shuts up and will not say a word even though both partners know that there is a problem between them. The silent treatment is to be avoided at all costs because it closes the other partner’s spirit without giving them an opportunity to explain themselves.

You need to remember that your mouth was never meant for the poison of bitterness. It was meant for love and laughter, singing and rejoicing. It is wonderful to sometimes sing for your spouse when the two of you are alone. Try it and see what will happen. You do not need to devise or write some strange song; sing what he or she knows but tell them you are singing for them because you love them. Communicate and save your marriage.


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Communication is the best way to save your marriage. Tell each other how you feel, so you can discover what are the things that irritated your husband or wife and what does he or she likes.

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How the Tango could save your relationship

The world’s sexiest dance can also heal troubled relationships


It takes two. It’s been called “vertical sex”. It’s enough to make a successful London publisher drop her career and head to the other side of the world, and now it’s being used as relationship therapy for couples. On the eve of a new series of Strictly Come Dancing, the tango is winning scientifically backed repute for boosting vigour, busting stress and getting lovers back in love. Tango may have its roots in the brothels of Argentina, but a wave of respectable research is highlighting its ability to heal relationships and create a heady glow of wellbeing. A study published last month, by Cynthia Quiroga Murcia, a psychologist at Goethe University in Frankfurt, reveals how the dance boosts men and women’s sex hormones and emotions.

Her team tested dancers’ saliva before and after hitting the floor together, to monitor levels of testosterone and the stress hormone cortisol. The dancers also filled in mood questionnaires. Tango’s choreography appears to release stress and send testosterone racing, in women as well as men, reported the journal Music and Medicine. The study participants (most of whom danced with their usual partner) were left feeling calmer, sexier and more closely bonded. Previous studies have shown that other dances don’t have this effect.

Such findings have inspired the creation of the International Association of Tango Therapy, whose British representative, Martin Soletano, works with couples in trouble. “Most of the problems that partners have in relationships can be seen in their tango dancing,” he says. “For example, the man has to lead, as he is the one who can see where they are going when they’re moving forwards. The woman is going backwards; she can’t see, so she needs to trust her man. No man can push a woman into making steps she doesn’t want to make, or to move in a certain direction. He has to persuade her, to make her happy. If she can trust, she will follow. If you’re a couple who can’t trust each other, it’s going to get complicated.”

Soletano, an Argentinian who lives in Cardiff with his wife Karen, a therapist, adds: “The therapy looks like tango, but it is not like a normal tango lesson because the focus is different — it starts with exercises that are aimed at finding a better connection between the couples. Tango needs a very good connection. One of the things you need is confidence — in yourself, your dancing and your partner. The partner needs to help you to dance or it won’t work. So there’s a deeper meaning to the old saying ‘It takes two to tango’.”

Tango therapy for couples is also being practised in Argentina, France and Italy. “In the UK we are developing workshops with therapists so that we can set up networks and promote research into its effectiveness,” Soletano says.

The idea is enthusiastically supported by Vanessa Lloyd Platt, a divorce lawyer who recommends that potential clients try tango lessons before launching into painful and costly marriage break-ups. Since taking up the dance herself, she has starred in a documentary, London Tango, which had its premiere at this year’s Notting Hill Film Festival. Lloyd Platt says: “I tell my clients, if there is any possibility of a resolution with your partner, why not attempt to resurrect the relationship by dancing? One of the things that goes in the final year of a marriage breakdown is the physical relationship. If you can learn how to hold each other again, that can make a tremendously important difference. “I have saved two marriages,” says Lloyd Platt, who is twice-divorced. “Dancing is a lot cheaper than coming to me. Dance lessons are about £50 an hour; my fee is £285 an hour plus VAT. Next year, I plan to go to Argentina and learn the tango on a full course.”

Sarah Keller, 34, is already studying in Buenos Aires. A year ago, she took a sabbatical from her literary editor’s job at a large London publisher to learn tango in Argentina for six months. When the sabbatical was over, she returned to London — to clear her desk before going back to Argentina again. Not even the lure of a romance in England was enough to keep her here. “I’d got to where I’d always wanted to get in my dream career, but actually I found the whole London existence of work, work, work was stifling the life out of me. I’d always loved dancing, so thought that I’d try it while travelling on my sabbatical. In the tango, in the dancehalls of Buenos Aires, I found everything that I’d been looking for. Now I want to keep learning, to get better and better. I’ve got some freelance editorial work, which should be just enough to support me. My priorities have changed completely.”

Tango’s allure lies in the fact that it is far more than simply a dance. It has a story, one that contains deep layers of drama and tangled complexities of desire, as well as all those dark Latin sexual undertones. It was born in the streets of late 19th-century Buenos Aires, where the macho young men of the city danced together. Theories about its precise origins are diverse and contradictory: some historians say it was developed from South American and European dances in poor areas of Buenos Aires by groups of immigrant men, and that it was considered unseemly for women to participate because of the dance’s sexual connotations. Others say prostitutes developed the tango in the brothels to pass the time, then the men practised it among themselves so that they could invite the women to dance — the flashiest males vied for the hearts of the hottest working girls.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that the tango itself has even been put on the couch by a group of Argentine psychoanalysts in the Freudian journal Vertex. The analysts’ study concludes that the dance mixes elements of “nostalgia, grief and loneliness, along with father-son rivalry, the conflict with the absent mother, the relationship between sexes, male chauvinism, infatuation, identity, the fear of death and the rebirth to a new life”. Heady stuff, and that’s without getting into the subject of tight suits, high heels and fishnets.

Back in chilly England, there are a few more down-to-earth issues to address. When, out of sheer curiosity, I went to tango classes ten years ago, my nascent shimmying was scuppered by two fundamental difficulties — a surprising dearth of women with any sense of rhythm and a lack of regular venues. The latter, at least, has improved a lot in recent years, with regular “milongas” — social tango nights — being held in London, Edinburgh and Belfast, as well as provincial towns including Cambridge and Malvern.

Eleonora Simoes, who has run milongas in Central London for a decade, says: “In the past five years, interest has grown immensely and it is continuing to grow. It has a lot to do with the physical and emotional wellbeing that you get from dancing. I think that it’s particularly true in this country because there is not much chance for this kind of social interaction. It’s usually too cold and people just go to work and go home again.

“Tango provides a healthy environment for sociability. Women and men may come thinking that they might meet a life partner, and that certainly does happen, but from that starting point they discover the excitement of tango’s social and emotional aspects — and the challenge of dancing skilfully.”

Simoes, an Argentinian, holds milongas in Holborn, Central London, on Wednesdays and Sundays that attract around 100 dancers (www.lamilongadelaluna.com). “On big events, we can attract up to 300 people.” If you are interested in meeting a life partner through tango, research by Gunter Kreutz of the Royal Northern College of Music sounds encouraging. His studies found that dancers tend to be characterised by a higher than average level of education and socioeconomic status. On the whole, they are more fun-seeking and sociable than most Britons, too.

And all the evidence suggests that it’s never too late to start learning. It was during a holiday at Reid’s Palace Hotel in Madeira that George Bernard Shaw learnt to tango at the age of 68. A photograph of him, white-bearded and in the arms of a glamorous, youthful woman attests to his achievement, of which he was extremely proud. “To the only man who ever taught me anything,” he wrote on a photograph he gave to the hotel’s dance teacher.

Tango can indeed work particularly well with old people. Researchers at McGill University, Montreal, reported this year in the Journal of Aging and Physical Activity that tango works much better than conventional walking or training to reduce the risk of falls in older people.

Tango’s therapeutic powers are now being pioneered for young people, too, in particular those suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Gina Ward, of the Parkinson’s Disease Society’s youth branch in Leicester, recently began holding classes after reading scientific research on the dance’s benefits for people with degenerative brain diseases. Researchers at the Washington University School of Medicine reported in May in the Journal of Rehabilitative Medicine how the dance’s rhythmic skilled movements may improve co-ordination in individuals with Parkinson’s by activating the brain’s motor-control centre, the basal ganglia. Ward says: “The tango is perfect for those with neurological problems that result in poor balance.” One of her dancers, Sudhansu Fatania, a dentist, says: “ I go as often as I can. It really does help.”

Back in the birthplace of tango, the dance is even being introduced as psychological therapy. On the fourth floor of Buenos Aires’ largest psychiatric hospital, the patients dance with doctors and nurses. A few months ago, some were too shy to talk and others could barely keep upright. Now they embrace cheek to cheek, gliding to an accordion’s mournful chords. “Treatment is not just about therapy and drugs, it’s about giving them a nice time,” says Trinidad Cocha, a psychologist who teaches weekly tango therapy. “They relax and all the labels disappear,” she adds. “We are not doctors, nurses, musicians or patients. We are just tango dancers.”


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Tango is fun! I believe this dance can help you save your marriage because of it's intimate dance steps, the couples always have close contact with each other. Try dancing tango with your husband or wife, save your relationship and have fun!

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How Taking A Vacation Can Save Your Marriage...In India

Divorce travel has, somewhat ironically, arrived in India. Ironically, because about one in one hundred marriages fail in India, compared to about half of marriages in the United States. Just the same, KV Tours and Travels have started offering packages designed to stop their customers from getting divorced.

Targeting near-break-up couples whose families are worried about the relationship—to the point where the family members might pay for the couple's vacation—KV Tours also arranges a qualified marriage counselor to accompany the couple on the trip. We hope they've figured out that three can be a crowd, though.

Depending on the budget, near-divorce couples might head to the Indian hills for a week (for around 35,000 Rupees, or $720) or head abroad to somewhere more exotic. The important part is, apparently, that they go somewhere they've never been before, and that they're far away from their family. Which sounds like good advice for any kind of vacation, really.



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Isn't it cool! This just means that giving time to one another is an effective way to save your marriage. You'll have the time to talk things over and enjoy one another.

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The Bank Account that Can Save your Marriage

"What's the best way for couples to manage their money?" is a question I'm often asked. While there's no perfect answer - couples differ in how much they want to merge their finances - it's a question that every couple is wise to give some thought to. What is vital, is that you agree upon a plan.

While talking about money can be often be more difficult and emotionally charged than talking about sex, religion or politics, a simple conversation about money can save you a lot of tension and resentments throughout married life. The ideal is to sit down with your partner and discuss your finances together on a regular basis - schedule a "money date". If this is difficult for either or both of you, then you might want to get a third party, such as a financial counselor, planner or trusted friend to get you started on the right track.

The question of whether or not to co-mingle your money is one of the most important decisions the two of you need to make regarding your finances. The extent of the financial merger often depends on the length of time that you have been together, but not always.

One of my client couples has been happily married for more than 30 years and they prefer to keep their finances very separate. Each dutifully writes me a separate cheque for ½ of my fees every year and that's the way they handle all their expenses. Older couples and those on their second marriage generally keep their finances separate longer.

While there's no perfect system, I find the one that works best is:

1. Set up a joint account. Both of your pay cheques, and any other income such as stock dividends and investment earnings, go into this "operating account";

2. Pay common expenses like mortgage, food, and monthly bills from your operating account;

3. Transfer an agreed-upon amount into long-term investment accounts, and into short-term savings accounts for travel, emergencies and any big ticket items, such as home renovations.

* Note: Ideally, investments should be managed with a common plan - even if you prefer to use separate investment companies. If there is no agreed upon plan and coordination, then you can end up paying higher fees and having investments that aren't optimal for the family as a whole;

4. After the essentials are taken care of, transfer an agreed upon amount into your "marriage saver" accounts set up for each of you to cover personal discretionary expenses. The agreed upon amount can be a percentage of each person's income or an equal amount. Once you set up this system, neither of you has any say over how the other person spends this money. That's the rule!

It might take a little negotiating to decide what you consider common expenses to be (golf memberships or season's tickets to the opera might be a bit tricky) and what are strictly personal items (triple-shot caramel macchiato, pedicures), but it's worth duking it out early to create a system that will avoid misunderstandings and arguments down the line.

Having your own money that you can spend however you choose can greatly reduce arguments over money. That simple little bank account might just save your marriage.



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Financial problems often leads to a broken marriage. To prevent this, couples should learn how to manage their money. Follow the tips above to avoid financial problems.

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Love Relationship Tips

The feeling of love is divine and if you have someone who loves you truly then you should be grateful to God, as there are very few people in this world who have true love in their life. One of the most important factors that needs to be mentioned here is that, one should be careful while selecting a life partner for oneself as there are people who would not hesitate to deceive you at the slightest chance that they would get. However, the Love Relationship Tips refers to those tips that would help one to strengthen his/her bond with his/her lover. Given below are a few of the Love Relationship Tips, which are:

* Spend quality time with your spouse/lover.

* Try to solve disputes in a peaceful manner.

* Praise your partner in every little thing that he/she does and congratulate him/her in his/her achievements.

* At times you can arrange a surprise party for your Valentine or can make arrangements for a candle night dinner.

* While taking a important decision give respect to your lover’s opinion.

* Make your lover acquainted with every sphere of your life.

* Express your love for your beloved and tell her/him how much you love her/him.

* Pay heed to your lover’s needs and desires.

* Try to fulfill your partner’s wishes.

* Give your sweetheart the feeling that he/she is an integral part of your life.

* Make it a point to remember and celebrate any special occasion, such as Valentine’s Day or birthday or any other occasion that is special for your lover.
* Accept your shortcomings

* Admit your mistakes

* Avoid deception


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Everyone should learn to build a good relationship with your partner. It's where both of you can get courage everytime you have problems in your relationship. You should know that you cannot hold on to other people, you have each other, talk about it and resolve it as early as you can.

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Save your marriage

Marriage problems can be devastatingly painful and difficult to overcome. Knowing that you may be losing the person you love is hard on anyone. However, if there is a chance you can do something to save that relationship, then you should do whatever you can. You might feel powerless to improve the situation, but you must try. If you make no attempt to save your relationship, it will eventually end.

The good news is that as bleak as the situation may seem, there is always hope. Do your best to keep yourself together and concentrate on the immediate, positive goal of saving your marriage.

Every marital relationship is unique. In your pursuit of marital harmony and a healthier bond with your spouse, you may find the following advice very helpful.

1. Truly identify your problems.The only way you are going to make progress with your marital problems is if you determine what those problems are. Taking an honest look at your relationship is the first step of healing. The most important thing in this phase is complete honesty. If you attempt to downplay your problems or look for a quick fix, you do a disservice to yourself and your spouse, and ultimately set yourself up for failure.

2. Set goals to work towards together. Make realistic goals that you can work toward as a couple. Obviously, your ultimate goal is to stay together. However, start with mini-goals. Try to make the following goals:
* We will communicate without arguing.
* We will attempt to do things as a couple.
* We will find an end to our problems.
* We will write down our feelings and allow the other to read them.

3. Communicate and compromise. If you want to make your relationship last, you must be able to talk to each other. Communication is the key to any long-lasting relationship. Once you establish open dialogue, then you can begin to compromise and heal. The importance of compromise cannot be overstated. Both of you must be able to discuss your feelings and come to an agreement about what you feel the relationship needs. It is going to be a matter of give-and-take. If you have problems communicating, try looking up 'Communication Exercises' in a search engine. After exploring the results, try some promising exercises with your spouse.

4. Look past the petty arguments and look towards healing. If you truly want to make your marriage work, you are going to have to overlook the hurt you feel about past arguments. You need to look for solutions rather than blaming your partner. It is often much easier to resent someone than to forget arguments, find forgiveness and move on with your life. However, until you find a way to communicate constructively about your hurt, and how to heal it, you will remain stuck in the same rut.

5. Use mediation if necessary. Some couples benefit from professional counseling, while others find it beneficial for friends or family to mediate their communication sessions, until they can speak without arguing. Regardless of the difficulty, communication is necessary to restore your marriage. You need to rediscover what you love about each other and you need to do this without arguing or trying to inflict pain. With this in mind, having some friendly mediation can often help couples find clarity and address the destructive aspects of their behavior. This may not be necessary for every couple but it could help those that have true communication issues.

6. Be patient; take all the time necessary to heal. Your marital problems did not crop up overnight and they will not be healed overnight. You need to take the time to examine your marital weaknesses and strengths together. Discuss all the emotions that you both feel until you are centered and ready to begin anew.


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Having difficulties in marriage becomes a burden in your life. But you can change it into something worth building for. You cannot have a perfect relationship but you can have a happy and contented family. Follow the steps above I assure you, you can save your marriage and your family.

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Overcoming Your Marital Infidelity

How to Save Your Marriage After Cheating on Your Partner


Overcoming your marital infidelity takes time and energy; these steps to saving your marriage after cheating on your partner will help you restore trust and build a better marriage! Saving your marriage after infidelity takes courage, hard work, and honesty.

6 Steps to Overcoming Your Marital Infidelity

1. Apologize. Apologizing for betraying your spouse is a simple, powerful way to start overcoming infidelity. You're in pain - and so is your partner. You may feel defensive, scared and confused – but a sincere apology without excuses or rationales is the first step in saving your marriage after infidelity. No matter how unstable your marriage was before you betrayed your spouse, admit that you were responsible, and that you were wrong to have your emotional affair, one-night stand, or multiple affairs.

2. Listen. No matter how bad it makes you feel, let your partner share feelings of betrayal, pain, disgust, rage, or frustration. Listen intently, until your partner is finished talking. Put your feelings of guilt, remorse or pain aside. Overcoming marital infidelity involves emotional sacrifice and painful, vulnerable communication. If you want to save your marriage, you need to work to build a better relationship.

3. Discuss the affair. Your spouse deserves answers. Share some details of how and why you betrayed your spouse. Discuss the affair in terms of how it came about and how you and your spouse can ensure it doesn't happen again. To overcome marital infidelity, talk about a plan to protect yourselves from another affair.

4. Change your lifestyle. After you've cheated on your partner, you're no longer free to follow your old patterns. Accepting new limits and boundaries (eg, not lunching alone with colleagues of the opposite sex) will go far in overcoming marital infidelity. Regain your spouse's trust by being open to reasonable requests regarding boundaries and behavior (marriage counseling will help you both see what is reasonable).

5. Talk about your lifestyle changes. Share how your life is different now that you want to save your marriage from another marital infidelity. Ask your spouse if your changes are helpful or not. To overcome infidelity, discuss the changes you need to make.

6. Accept a long period of healing. After you've betrayed your spouse, it'll take longer than a few weeks to heal! Your partner will probably watch you closely for at least a year after the affair. It'll take awhile to accept everyday occurrences, such as you being late for dinner or suddenly changing your plans.

Marriage counseling helps couples cope with the intense, volatile emotions that often accompany affairs. If you cheated on your partner and and want to save your marriage, be open to couples counseling.


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Trust is difficult to gain after marital infidelity. But if you're sincere and wanted to regain that trust again, you can do it. It will take a lot of time before your husband or wife trust you again, just be patient.

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How to Save a Marriage - Saving Your Marriage is in Your Hands! Every Marriage Can Be Saved

By Juliette Christian Platinum Quality Author


Seeing your marriage end is one of the most horrible and mentally devastating things that you can go through in your life. You can't help but remember the ceremony, the honeymoon; all the good days with good hopes. And you don't want to accept to just let everything go and divorce. You want to save a marriage but are hopeless to do so, because everything seems to be going the wrong way.

I know all those exactly, because I have been in your shoes. I feel for you, my friend, as my marriage was ending too. I wanted to save my marriage but didn't know what to do so. All I could think of to do was to apologize over and over to my husband and beg him for forgiveness to save our marriage.

But not let's fast forward from those hard days to today: I have saved my marriage. And in saying this, I know that I am hugely understating everything: Because my husband loves me more than anything now, and I love him more than anything. Our marriage is so... awesome!

What changed? What did I do to save a marriage, that changed the whole episode so much?

It is that I have been taught to do the right things instead of apologizing and begging to my spouse. The right way of taking action to save a marriage is acknowledging that your spouse is fed up with you, and restrain yourself from doing things that would make your spouse even more fed up you. Actually, you should do the opposite of these things. How?

You should be more "inaccessible" to your spouse. Do not beg to them for anything. Do not forget that people want what they CAN'T have! This rule is working against you right now - and it is in your hands to reverse the situation so that rule will be working FOR you.


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You can do it now! Do whatever you can to save your marriage. It lies in your hands. Always think positive that you can do it. Do it for your family.

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Trust the Power of Positive Thinking to Make Your Husband Fall in Love With You Again

By Emma Audley Platinum Quality Author


If you have been happily married for a few years, chances are that you are already witnessing some early signs of boredom, lack of spontaneity and interest from your husband. It is also highly likely that you are desperate to make your husband fall in love with you again. But have you ever wondered why it happens like this with most women? The main reason for this is that love is a very delicate and volatile feeling, which seems to evaporate all too quickly only to be replaced by frustration and nothingness. In the daily struggle for existence, the biggest casualty is love and togetherness between married couples and both of you are no exception.

What is the best course of action if you want to make your husband fall in love with you again? On one hand, if you let the situation take its own course, it might deteriorate even further and reach a point of no return; on the other hand, you do not quite know how you can make your husband fall in love with you again. You are perhaps wondering, is it at all possible? Will I appear funny if I make sudden and unfamiliar gestures to show that I love my husband? Isn't love 'supposed' to be there all the time? First of all, you have to know that it is very possible to make your husband fall in love with you again and secondly, love does not always remain where you left it last time. It is dynamic and you have to nurture it with care and concern for it to grow, no matter how close you are to your husband. Go through the tips given below to take some positive steps to make your husband fall in love with you again:

• Stop brooding over the past and stop guessing what could have gone wrong with your marriage. If you want to make your husband fall in love with you again, start thinking afresh and think positive. Thinking about a problem does not always lead you to a solution.

• The more you 'presume' the things that could have made your husband change his mind or attitude, the more time you are losing to make your husband fall in love with you again. In stead, look ahead and try to devise ways and means of reversing the deteriorating situation. You have no idea what the power of positive thinking can do to a relationship.

• Positive thinking is actually infectious. Not only do you feel the change in yourself, you would be inspiring others too and this includes your husband also. When despite the growing distance between the two of you, you take the proactive step of holding his hand and claiming that with every passing day, you love him more than yesterday, he is bound to take notice and feel the difference.

• Most women ignore their appearance once they are into a few years of marital life. Look into the mirror and you might find plenty of areas where you need to improve. Never mind if you are starting all lover again, but very little effort to improve the way you look and feel can take you closer to your husband and make your husband fall in love with you again.

• Chances are that you were so busy looking after the home and family that you forgot the fact that you need time for yourself too. Revisit the areas of your interest and re-cultivate them. A wife who has her own set of interests and is an attractive and self-confident person can be an asset to any husband.

• Bring fun and romance back in to your lives. Stop worrying about the kids, utility bills or whatever. Go out and let your hair down with your husband. Try to laugh together and you can make your husband fall in love with you again.

• To make your husband fall in love with you again, you have to love yourself and be friends with your mind. If you are constantly fighting emotions and getting angry or remorseful with any and everything around you - your ill temper is going to spread and affect others too. Learn to give and forgive. This in turn makes you a positive person, who is enthusiastic, zestful and forward looking.

Why is getting your husband back so important to you?

Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions... especially marriage! We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.

Losing a spouse is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.

But don't give up on the love of your life yet. There is still hope! You can reverse deterioration of your marriage and successfully reconnect with your husband. Use my professional and personal experience to learn how you can bring passion back into your marriage.


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Nothing is impossible. You've done it several years before, you can still make your husband fall in love with you again. Learn to try new things and discover new ideas to keep your love alive. Believe in yourself that you can make it and that you can save your marriage. Think on the bright side, be positive!

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Seek Counseling to Save a Marriage

Married couples tend to disregard the importance of counseling, not knowing how essential counseling is when trying to save a marriage. Couples who experience problems with their union wait too long before seeking the help of a marriage counselor. Counseling has many benefits, such as giving space for people in a relationship to discover the cause of their conflicts in order to find the solutions to these problems. Lots of couples think that succumbing to counseling is just like admitting that their marriage is becoming a failure, and they don’t want that.

In order to save a marriage, you must look at what counseling can do to save your marital woes. To make counseling work, both partners must be fully committed to the cause saving the relationship. Counseling will not help if one of you is just going through it half-heartedly. A councilor will be of great help especially if you as a couple decided to seek advice earlier, before the damage have been truly done. To save a marriage, a couple must communicate openly and must be aware of even the subtle changes in the relationship. Being aware of such nuances can help contain issues before they become too difficult for counseling to solve.

Counseling will not work if one of you has already detached himself completely with the other. There is only so much that outside help can do to save a marriage. Full cooperation is needed to make counseling work for you. If the problem is already a bit complex, individual counseling can be done, especially if one partner is not comfortable spilling his guts out in the presence of the spouse.

Aside from counseling, there are other things that you can do to help save a marriage. One can seek the help of family and friends, provided that they are not biased towards one of you. People around you should be willing to recognize the faults and shortcomings of both partners in order to come up with fair advice.

Seeking the help of a marriage counselor can clear up the common problems that married couples face. These problems include infidelity, compatibility issues and communication problems. Counseling can even help individuals who let past experiences or relationships affect their marriage.

To save a marriage, both partners must be willing to do everything it takes to make the relationship work. Love must still be in the equation in order to make counseling work. Issues can become more complicated when certain factors are involved, such as children and financial problems. But a good counselor knows how to solve these problems. What’s good to know is that most marriages can be saved with good counseling, and both partners should have enough courage to face their problems and deal with the necessary in steps in order to restore the harmony in their union and save a marriage. Good counseling is easy to find; there are lots of counselors out there who are willing to do what they can to salvage what’s left of your marriage.

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Yes, counseling really helps! Going through marriage counseling really help to save your marriage. It explains what a couple should do to maintain a good relationship. Actually, going through marriage counseling is not just because you have problems, counseling strengthens your relationship and explains your responsibility with each other.

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Save a Marriage - Advice - 3 Tips to Help You Rekindle Your Love

By Stella Mak Platinum Quality Author


A lot of marriage failed because couples do not take responsibility for the role that they play in a relationship. Very often, blaming the other instead of oneself become the favourite pastime of couples and when there are conflicts, they choose the most convenient mean - walking away instead of trying to save the marriage!

Apparently these couples have short term memories because they are the same individuals who have vowed to support and to love each other through thick and thin! However, divorce has now become an easy way out for people who do not have the courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged. When couples go through a divorce, they channel all their energies into accusing each other of causing hurt and disharmony in the marriage. They forget that in the process, their children are the ones most deeply hurt! If they have channeled their energies to save the marriage, more than one human being is saved!

So is it possible to save your marriage? Yes, if you had loved each other in the first place, you will definitely be able to rekindle the love and here are 3 ways in which you can save your marriage.

1. Share financial responsibilities
Many married couples forget that it takes two hands to clap so now that they are married, both party should be responsible for the family financially. Being married means you are united as one so you should shoulder the burden of raising a family together.

Find out each others' spending style and come to a compromise on how best you can save and at the same time not have to sting on yourself. Spend some time to prioritize what is important to you and to your family, especially if you have children. You need to come to a mutual agreement on how you can divide out the burden of financial responsibility.

2. Never go to bed angry
I strongly believe that this is very sound advice to building a lasting relationship because you and your spouse are two very different individuals so there are bound to be conflicts. The important point is that you must find ways to resolve those conflicts. By all means take time off to cool down but after a storm, both of you have to sit down and discuss the issue together. You have to listen to each other and find a solution or come to a compromise but never leave the fight overnight.

It is very unhealthy to go to bed angry and you will only cause a drift in the relationship if you do not try to resolve your problem first. After which, you should forget about the fight and make up for it in bed. It is vital to forget about the problem after the fight had been resolved if you want to save your marriage.

3. Plan time for romance
Many married couples forget to plan a time for romance, especially if they have children. In order for a marriage to last long, it is important not to forget to spend time to be intimate. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the start of a whole new life together. If you sense that something is not right in your relationship, you need to make time for each other so that you can save your marriage.

People are constantly busy nowadays so if you do not find time for your spouse so as to rekindle the love in your relationship, it will hit trouble. It is definitely not worthwhile to spend all your time carving out a career for your family only to discover that you have lost your marriage in the end!


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For me, sometimes when your arguing or having problems it's best to take your time and talk about it the next day. Some problems cannot be solved overnight. I believe that when you're both cooled down and calm, whatever the problem is will be solved.

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There are ways of saving your marriage before it starts

One way of saving your marriage before it starts is to build a hedge of protection around your new relationship. What not all newlyweds realize is that it’s important to protect your marriage from outside influences that have the power to undermine all of the love and hard work you are bringing to your growing relationship. Here are three ways of saving your marriage before it starts:

Saving your marriage before it starts: Step 1 – Communicate

Saving your marriage before it starts begins with you two talking about what you expect from each other and from yourselves. How will you each protect your marriage, and what would you like to ask each other to do? For example, are there certain behaviors you want to highlight that make you somewhat uncomfortable because of the temptation they present? Just brainstorm together about ways you can guard yourselves and your marriage and fully live out your commitment to each other. That’s the first step of saving your marriage before it starts.

Saving your marriage before it starts: Step 2 – Pledge

The second suggestion for saving your marriage before it starts is to write a pledge to each other about what you will each do, personally, to protect your marriage from infidelity. Write them out and verbally commit to acting on your pledge. (A quick note of caution here: be realistic as you choose the pledges you make to each other. For example, it’s not going to be possible to avoid ever talking to someone of the opposite sex. But you can promise to avoid saying anything that could be construed as flirtatious, or as critical of your mate.)

Saving your marriage before it starts: Step 3 – Live your commitment

Saving your marriage before it starts is ultimately about putting into practice what you’ve communicated and pledged to each other. Yes, communication and promises are important in a new marriage. But ultimately, saving your marriage before it starts comes down to the decision and your ability to actually live out the vows you’ve made to each other. So right now, as you begin this most-important of relationships, make the decision that your vows are a sacred duty that you will uphold day by day, and moment by moment. Then you’ll be well on your way to saving your marriage before it starts.


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Save your marriage before it starts, talk about your problems, open communication is the key. Remember that you have your vow, so make sure that, that vow will not be broken. Do it for your self, your husband and for your children. If you have problems, talk about it now!

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How To Save Your Marriage

By: Kaveh Nayeri

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a way, like starting a business you’ve always wanted to own or a university program you’ve always wanted to enter.

It may be relatively easy to begin but it is almost guaranteed to be very challenging to stay with it for the long-term and make it a success.

Which one do you think is harder? Being successful in your marriage? In your education? Or in your career?

They are all challenging to achieve for most of us. Yet they are also goals that most of us pursue or dream about. Not everybody wants to get married but most adults want to have some form of love relationship that feels good and is right for them. And the topics in this article apply to all intimate and significant relationships, not just marriages.

Indeed the drive to form and maintain a successful love relationship seems to be consistently strong in most adults. And I have observed this repeatedly in my work as individual and couples therapist.

At the same time our 50 % + divorce rate clearly communicates the message that making our love relationship last and flourish is difficult.

If we add to the high occurrences of divorce, the numerous unhappy marriages out there in which the partners feel hopelessly stuck my point becomes even more clear.

In my work as a mental health clinician I have seen marital and relationship discord often. And as a husband in an 11-year marriage I have felt the severe pains of marital crisis.

Along the way I have formed some wisdom on ways to understand, preserve, and improve your marriage. I teach these in a workshop called “All About Love" and will present them in this article. Also you can log onto my website at http://www.loveyoursoul.com for additional information.

Please keep in mind that most of the advice I am providing below apply and are suggested to both you and your partner even if I do not always mention him or her. However in the event that your significant other is not willing to follow this advice, I suggest that you do them on your own and invite your partner to join you as soon as possible.

1. EXPECT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

All or most marriages run into small and large problems eventually. Some marital problems can be anticipated and avoided. Others cannot be foreseen and must be faced, worked through, and resolved by both partners.

Marital crisis is often very painful to go through. But that does not mean that the marriage should be ended.

Conflicts are often tests of the strength of the love relationship. These are tests that both partners must take and pass before the marriage can graduate to a higher level of mutual satisfaction.

Your marital problem should tell you that there are some things that you have not understood about your partner and vice versa. You may also have lost hope for the relationship and neglected each other’s needs.

There is work to be done by each of you. It will probably be hard work but it is also required work to help resolve your marital conflict and for each of you to grow personally.

2. OBTAIN OUTSIDE HELP

The pain and complexity of marital crisis often handicap the couples’ ability to resolve the problem on their own. It is important that you start receiving couples counseling soon after the crisis begins because the longer you wait the more difficult it will be to save the marriage.

You should treat the crisis as a relationship emergency and act right away to get all the help you need.

It is important that you find a therapist who has the experience, knowledge, and motivation to treat marital problems. Also you and your partner should collaborate in order to choose a therapist who seems right for treating your marriage.

Also there are many organizations that provide relationship services. You can locate them through the internet, the phone book, your church, etc. I like the services advertised on the websites: imagorelationships.com and embracemarriage.com.

In addition you can request help from mature friends or relatives that you trust. Their help can be valuable and may include sharing their own experiences with marital problems, listening to you, or offering other support.

3. UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER

You must work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship. Chances are that even though your partner loves you there are significant and persistent problems he or she sees in you. And your partner may have lost hope for the relationship because of them.

You need to better understand your partner’s perception of these problems. It may be that your partner has a lot of dislike or fear for a certain problem. This fear was probably developed before you knew each other.

The persistence of these problems in you can be severely disappointing your partner even if they do not seem to be major issues to you.

For example your partner may have a large need for your time and affection because he/she was severely deprived of this in childhood and past relationships.

Your partner could be feeling hurt and disappointed in the relationship because this need has been misunderstood or neglected. The solution in this case would be for you (and your spouse) to become aware of the high importance of regular affection for him/her and to make sure the marriage takes care of this need.

If you identify these types of problems and work hard to resolve them, your loved one is likely to feel better about the relationship.

As usual this works both ways and you can ask your partner to do the same for you.

4. PRAY FOR THE MARRIAGE

Spirituality and regular prayer are powerful ways that can help you and your spouse heal your damaged relationship. It is important that you pray for your partner as well as for yourself. You can also ask God to help and heal your marriage.

There is a lot of variety and choice of spiritual practices. I suggest that you find and practice one that fits with your beliefs and feels right for you.

Spiritual strength could give you both the patience, peace of mind, understanding, love, and forgiveness that is often necessary to work your way out of marital trouble.

5. TOLERATE THE EMOTIONAL PAIN

Marital crises often involve severe emotional pain for both partners. You or your spouse may feel very depressed, angry, terrified, confused, hopeless, etc.

Many people end their marriages because they do not want to tolerate these pains or because they believe that the marital problems will never go away.

But the old saying: “No Pain, No Gain" often holds true for marriages and most marital problems can be solved if both partners are willing to put in the necessary work.

Counseling, spiritual practice, and if needed, medication can help relieve some of your emotional pain. But often much of the pain brought on by marital crisis must be tolerated until the marital wounds are healed.

You and your partner need to understand and accept that you are wounded emotionally and that the healing process may be slow and gradual.

Not all marriages or relationships deserve to be saved. And not all emotional pain associated with a relationship should be tolerated to preserve it.

Extreme situations for example when one partner is regularly physically abusing the other and is refusing to seek professional help may require divorce or a break-up to solve the problem.

But emotional injury caused by typical marital conflicts can often be treated and healed. However this process typically involves emotional pain and your ability to tolerate and live with this pain is a valuable skill.

I often tell my clients “Happiness is on the other side of the pain".

In order to better understand and save your marriage you must work your way through and past the body of emotional pain that is blocking your way to marital happiness.

And if you do this work successfully your marriage will arrive at a new, higher grounds, where you can both feel free of pain and full of relationship joy, love, and appreciation of the meaning of marriage.

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Sadly, there really is no perfect marriage, but you can make a better marriage than others. It's a matter of open communication, time for each other, understanding, supporting and respecting each others thoughts and most importantly LOVE. Saving your marriage is a responsibility to be done by both of you for your family. Everything takes time. Just believe.

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Saving Your Marriage

When you first walked down the altar, you intended on living a life of romantic bliss with your new partner. That was until babies were born, the bills started pilling up and your sex life became non-existent. Now you and your spouse are in a position where you are desperately figuring out what you can to do go about saving your marriage. Perhaps there is a quick-fix solution through a ‘saving your marriage’ website, or a ‘saving your marriage’ book. And while these resources can be helpful, you probably already know what you need to do to save your marriage. These common-sense steps include: increasing communication between yourself and your partner, spending more time with them and revving up your intimacy.

The first step you need to take for saving your marriage involves improving your lines of communication. Many couples tend to put aside more controversial communication when the relationship is doing well. But when they do this, the result is a build-up of tension over a period of time. Then when an argument does erupt, the other partner may be presented with issues that, while unresolved, have nothing to do with what they are currently discussing. This causes even more anger. So, if you’re concerned about saving your marriage, don’t allow such things to happen. If you’re having trouble discussing certain issues, consider getting marriage counseling, so you’ll have a mediator to help keep things under control. From these sessions hopefully you and your spouse will learn how to discuss more negative things without exploding in anger.

The next step that is pertinent for saving your marriage involves spending more time with your partner. Now, you may be wondering why such a step is necessary for saving your marriage, especially if you feel that you see your partner all the time. But seeing your partner at home isn’t the same as spending more personal, by-yourself time with them. This is because at home there are distractions, such as kids, bills and house work. But if you take your partner out on a date or even a vacation, everything will revolve around just the two of you. Indeed, if you are really about saving your marriage, you will want to go out of your way to schedule extra time with your partner outside of the house.

The final thing you need to do when it comes to saving your marriage is being more intimate with your partner. Part of this will be easier if you can regularly schedule personal time with them. But you should still try to maintain intimacy even beyond that. Additionally, intimacy should be deeper than just sex, though sex is a part of intimacy. Romance needs to be in the equation. Examples include a romantic bath or dinner. And when things do move into the bedroom, perhaps you can consider experimenting with different sexual activities to help liven up the routine.

In conclusion, you don’t need a book for saving your marriage. The answers are already in your own head and heart. And hopefully by following the simple steps outlined in this article, you and your spouse will rediscover the love that brought you down the aisle in the first place.

Saving Your Marriage Tip #1

Don't raise your voice. If saving your marriage is your goal, then it is very important to remember not to raise your voice when talking or especially arguing with your significant other. Raising your voice immediately puts the other person on the defensive and makes them want to attack you back rather than communicate.

Saving Your Marriage Tip #2

Communication is key. One of the biggest problems most couples have is that they do not communicate effectively. Yelling our exploding at someone is not communicating. When something bothers you or is on your mind, it is important to communicate that to your partner calmly and verbally at that moment or as soon as you two can be alone. This will help to prevent small annoyances from building into big arguments.

Saving Your Marriage Tip #3

Space is good. You need you give each other their personal space. It is perfectly normal and healthy to want some time away from your partner. This does not mean you don't love them. Spend time apart as well as together and you will have a much healthier relationship.


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Do it now! You can save your marriage now. Always remember that God will not give you trials you can't handle, so act now, you can still save it. Just be positive and follow these tips. I know you'll make it.

Resources of How To Save Your Marriage