Tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage. The fact of life is that marriage is not easy. Most marriages have lots of rough spots. These rough spots can cause one of two things to happen. They can either make the marriage stronger, or they can ruin it. Which it is for you, is up to you.
What your rough spots are will vary. For some it is money, for others cheating or insecurity, for others a death, or birth, etc. So, it would be wise to prepare yourself for rough spots of all varieties as the old adage goes, "It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared."
The following are some tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage with a stronger relationship rather than one that is ruined:
Don't worry, be happy. The person who sits and waits for something bad to happen will surely find it. You should not try and fix something that is not broken. The fact of the matter is that worrying does more damage than good. So, instead of wasting time and energy worrying, you should look at hope, and find solutions. Worry gets you no where, and worse, it puts up road blocks for when you try to go somewhere.
Patience is a virtue. Patience is one of the smartest attributes you can have if you are worried about going through tough times in your marriage. It is sort of like a cure all. If you can be patient and not let stress sway you into losing perspective. Being patient enough to get through the hard times without being overly wound or stressed will help you to keep adversity from damaging your relationship. Part of patience is seeing that hard times are not someone's fault but part of life, and if you are patient you will know that blame and criticism of your spouse will get you no where but in a broken marriage. Sarcasm is the like the opposite of patience, so do not let sarcasm take over your life.
Be quick to forgive. Sometimes hard times bring out the worst in us, and we can start to hate, blame, and hurt the people we profess to love. You have to recognize that your upset feelings are like a disease that can infect your relationship if you let it. If you do not take necessary precautions, you will let resentment, frustration and hate take the place that love, kindness, and understanding should be. So, forgive mistakes, be open armed and ready to accept people despite their imperfections, you have them too. You make mistakes and need forgiveness occasionally as well, so don't be selfish with your forgiveness, give openly.
Laugh at yourself. Believe it or not if you can find humor, even if it is just irony, when hard times fall, your relationship will be much stronger. Do your best to find humor in the challenge you are facing. If you can do this, you can survive it. If you learn to laugh at the situation, you will learn to have hope for something better.
Join forces. When something bad happens you should not seclude yourself, rather you should join forces. You and your spouse are a team, and what better time to stand together than against adversity? If you commit to one another that even during the hard times you will stick with each other, and if you remind one another of your promise to endure you will likely find that your relationship can withstand a lot more, and you will become closer, stronger, and more united because of the experiences. It is common to brood, withdraw from each other, etc. Instead you should practice turning to each other instead of away when crisis hits.
The following is a simple list of things that you should remember during hard times in your marriage if you want it to work.
1. Don't blame each other.
2. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive.
3. Remind yourself that the tough times won't last forever and that there is a rainbow after the rain.
4. Don't have a negative attitude, it gets you no where.
5. Ask for help from family and friends when possible.
6. Remember your love and commitment to each other and remind each other of it often.
7. Exercise and getting plenty of sleep so you are not as stressed.
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All marriages undergo different trials, just be strong and let love fix everything. Understanding is a big factor. Remember, that it's not just about yourself you have to consider your partner and most of all your kids.
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