10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

Sometimes as you are standing at the sink in the kitchen doing the dishes again, you just can't help but notice how nice your neighbor's patio is. You peek out back, to the space where your own patio could be, one day, with that outdoor couch set and the huge umbrella and lots of tropical trees strategically placed. But alas, you see grass, well sort of grass, maybe more mud than grass. And then it begins- you begin to notice the nicks in the walls from little matchbox cars, maybe a crayon or two going down the hallway, the dirty laundry pile which appears to be growing before your eyes...and you start to wonder, "Really, this is it?"

You see it didn't start out this way. You bought the house after an exhaustive search. You were excited and energized. You picked out paint colors together. You searched and found furniture for 'the perfect' spot. You happily hung pictures of new collages and arranged the pantry and bought the linens. You were busy creating a home. Eventually however, the paints are long put away, and the walls start to show their wear.

It seems to me, marriage is a lot like this house we make a home. We begin with excitement and a great spirit of hope for our future. We work feverishly to begin a life together. Eventually things settle in, and life happens. It seems to me this is when a perfectly good marriage begins to show its wear. I now long for the twenties, when I went to a lot of weddings, or the early thirties when I went to a lot of Christenings. The late thirties seem to involve a lot of divorce. So here is a bit of my perspective, which I wish that some of these same people would consider before they spend the rest of their life fighting over their children:

1. Get Over Yourself!: "I have a right to be happy"....No, You don't. Happiness is earned, and it has a lot to do with how hard you are willing to work for it.

2. Take Time: Do you go to the gym? Do you play an intramural sport? Do you go to classes to further your career? These are things you are doing to work on something. It's a concerted effort. Try giving your marriage a concerted effort. Guys- remember when you courted your wife? You worked on it. Now you need to work on it again.

3. Be Interested: When was the last time you showed interest in what your spouse does in their work life, spare time or home life?

4. Learn Something New Together: Discovering new territories of your relationship require you to change your perspective. Take a class together- online bible study, online cooking class, couples dancing class, online massage??? Figure it out.

5. Remember Why You Got Married: Stop fighting and remember back to why you got together in the first place. Look at old pictures and old journals. There was a reason you fell in love, find it.

6. Do Special Things for Each Other: Do one of the chores from your spouses list. Laundry is my domain, and I came home last night to about 6 loads folded and put away. It showed me that my husband truly loves me/has pity for me when I really need it.

7. Make Your Marriage a Priority: Sundays are my husbands only day off work, so I protect it like a Momma Bear. It's sacrosanct. I make no plans or commitments for the family. It's strictly our day as a family together. Treat your marriage like that.

8. Schedule Alone Time: Go away alone together once a year. If you can't afford it, have family or friends take your children for the night, and make your home a little escape for the night with lots of candles and great takeout- but no chores allowed.

9. Have Lots of Sex: Dr. Oz thinks our country is in a sex crisis cause we aren't having enough of it. Girls remember, sometimes sex is like running- you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it, then you do it, and you are like "Wow, why don't I do that more often?" Get creative, and do it, a lot of it.

10. Be Friends: Remember when you first started dating and were first married? Your spouse should be your best friend. He should be the first person you want to call when you have good news. If he's not, then you have a warning sign that attention is required!






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Saving your marriage is a big responsibility. Both of you should understand each other's opinion, have a date maybe once a week so you can talk about your family and relationship.

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Relationships : Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage - Don't Give Up

(SkyNewswire.com)--- Mending a relationship is not impossible. You just need to use a little common sense. But during times like this, most often our emotions take over and our minds take a back seat. Don't let that happen. Unless you are in control, your emotions can literally ruin everything for you.

#1 Stay calm
That is the very first step. Be composed and unruffled. Say to yourself that this marriage is going to work no matter what. You are going to save your marriage at all costs, and you are going to do that with your head, not your heart. You are not going to let your emotions take over. On the other hand, you're going to think and methodically act to reverse the situation. Many people just break down and cry without ever doing anything constructive. Don't be like them. You are going to act mature and ensure that this marriage is going to work for you, come what may. In case your partner likes to see you break down emotionally, they'll be in for a surprise this time.

#2 Get your act together
Focus on yourself for sometime. Go shopping. Get some nice clothes. Start to look attractive. When your partner sees you the next time, they should be shocked. In fact they should want you desperately. There is a lot of power in looking good. Use that to your advantage. You did when you were dating, right?! The chemistry worked back then. You just forgot all about it. It is time once again to start looking great. Make your partner desire you all over again. An outward change is a reflection of a change happening deep inside. Let them know that something has changed on the inside, and you need to do it in a noticeable but attractive way.

#3 Analyze
Take stock of the situation. Without any kind of bias, try to objectively see what really went wrong. If you need to take some time off and go some place, do it if that would help. List the things that you or your partner did wrong that contributed to the problem. Beside each of those points, write down what the right action should have been, so that you can follow that when it happens again. When you get back together again, these situations might arise once again. But since you have an idea about the right kind of response, you will be able to handle it positively.

#4 Establish contact
Once you have changed yourself and analyzed the problem, its time to talk, especially if you've not been seeing each other for a while. But please don't talk about the problem or about setting things right. This is just going to be a casual talk. It is dating time once again. You're just allowing them to set eyes on you once again.

#5 Exude confidence
Instead of begging and pleading them to come back, act confident and stay aloof for a while. Don't be snobbish or vengeful; just be confident and friendly. You'd be surprised to see that they want to be with you more than ever before.

Follow these steps methodically and you can have your partner back for keeps. I know that you would do anything to get them back. I am just helping you do it the right way. There is more help on the next page, in the form of a video and some quick tips to start the recovery process right away. Save Your Marriage right now!





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Effort to save your marriage is a big factor. Every problem can be solved, just talk about it and try to settle it as early as you can. You can save your marriage, there's no other time but now.

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