7 Innovative Ways to Save Your Marriage

Are you in a tough spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches, but that doesn't mean that you need to give up when the going gets tough. For many couples, they can actually work through their problems to create a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are just a few tips for getting started on the right foot.

Listen

There's nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn't take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a good partner (on either end), you need to be able to remain quiet and talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be quiet when they are speaking and try to really listen to what they are saying.

Understand

But listening only goes so far when you're trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not really understand where they are coming from, you might be creating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you want to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it's important that you make sure that you understand where they are at and how you might be able to help.

A positive attitude

Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you're trying to work through problems and issues, you will want to make sure that you're going into it with a positive attitude. You don't need to be sugary sweet, but you should start to look at your troubles as learning lessons rather than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.

Be present

When a partner isn't fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through tough times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote certain times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.

Stay calm

While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to remember that being calm is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk - it automatically lowers your blood pressure and your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything - this will help you to be clear and calm as you speak. Many people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, and that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.

Make plans

One of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start creating long term plans with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will create the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled upon - somehow. Try to make plans for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will create a little less pressure because the future isn't so vague and unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.

Take time away

While you don't have to become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is one of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you allow yourself to have a new perspective on the events that are happening. And this can allow you to see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it's just a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become easier to resolve.

Your marriage isn't failed until you've tried everything to save it. Truth is, You can save your relationship and soften the hardest of hearts of your lover! This system by Cucan Pemo, a best selling author and author of several books, could work over and over again for the broken hearts. There are no mumbo jumbo, no complicated techniques. Just simple instructions that product RESULTS - sometimes within hours, to help you save your relationship or marriage. Within minutes, you could see the beginning of the end of your most difficult relationship problem! Get this amazing package today!





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Trying to fix your marriage is the best thing you can do whenever you are going through trials. Trying does not make any harm. Put that pride down and do what you have to do to save your marriage.

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How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a way, like starting a business you’ve always wanted to own or a university program you’ve always wanted to enter.

It may be relatively easy to begin but it is almost guaranteed to be very challenging to stay with it for the long-term and make it a success.

Which one do you think is harder? Being successful in your marriage? In your education? Or in your career?

They are all challenging to achieve for most of us. Yet they are also goals that most of us pursue or dream about. Not everybody wants to get married but most adults want to have some form of love relationship that feels good and is right for them. And the topics in this article apply to all intimate and significant relationships, not just marriages.

Indeed the drive to form and maintain a successful love relationship seems to be consistently strong in most adults. And I have observed this repeatedly in my work as individual and couples therapist.

At the same time our 50 % + divorce rate clearly communicates the message that making our love relationship last and flourish is difficult.

If we add to the high occurrences of divorce, the numerous unhappy marriages out there in which the partners feel hopelessly stuck my point becomes even more clear.

In my work as a mental health clinician I have seen marital and relationship discord often. And as a husband in an 11-year marriage I have felt the severe pains of marital crisis.

Along the way I have formed some wisdom on ways to understand, preserve, and improve your marriage. I teach these in a workshop called “All About Love" and will present them in this article. Also you can log onto my website at http://www.loveyoursoul.com for additional information.

Please keep in mind that most of the advice I am providing below apply and are suggested to both you and your partner even if I do not always mention him or her. However in the event that your significant other is not willing to follow this advice, I suggest that you do them on your own and invite your partner to join you as soon as possible.

1. EXPECT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

All or most marriages run into small and large problems eventually. Some marital problems can be anticipated and avoided. Others cannot be foreseen and must be faced, worked through, and resolved by both partners.

Marital crisis is often very painful to go through. But that does not mean that the marriage should be ended.

Conflicts are often tests of the strength of the love relationship. These are tests that both partners must take and pass before the marriage can graduate to a higher level of mutual satisfaction.

Your marital problem should tell you that there are some things that you have not understood about your partner and vice versa. You may also have lost hope for the relationship and neglected each other’s needs.

There is work to be done by each of you. It will probably be hard work but it is also required work to help resolve your marital conflict and for each of you to grow personally.

2. OBTAIN OUTSIDE HELP

The pain and complexity of marital crisis often handicap the couples’ ability to resolve the problem on their own. It is important that you start receiving couples counseling soon after the crisis begins because the longer you wait the more difficult it will be to save the marriage.

You should treat the crisis as a relationship emergency and act right away to get all the help you need.

It is important that you find a therapist who has the experience, knowledge, and motivation to treat marital problems. Also you and your partner should collaborate in order to choose a therapist who seems right for treating your marriage.

Also there are many organizations that provide relationship services. You can locate them through the internet, the phone book, your church, etc. I like the services advertised on the websites: imagorelationships.com and embracemarriage.com.

In addition you can request help from mature friends or relatives that you trust. Their help can be valuable and may include sharing their own experiences with marital problems, listening to you, or offering other support.

3. UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER

You must work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship. Chances are that even though your partner loves you there are significant and persistent problems he or she sees in you. And your partner may have lost hope for the relationship because of them.

You need to better understand your partner’s perception of these problems. It may be that your partner has a lot of dislike or fear for a certain problem. This fear was probably developed before you knew each other.

The persistence of these problems in you can be severely disappointing your partner even if they do not seem to be major issues to you.

For example your partner may have a large need for your time and affection because he/she was severely deprived of this in childhood and past relationships.

Your partner could be feeling hurt and disappointed in the relationship because this need has been misunderstood or neglected. The solution in this case would be for you (and your spouse) to become aware of the high importance of regular affection for him/her and to make sure the marriage takes care of this need.

If you identify these types of problems and work hard to resolve them, your loved one is likely to feel better about the relationship.

As usual this works both ways and you can ask your partner to do the same for you.

4. PRAY FOR THE MARRIAGE

Spirituality and regular prayer are powerful ways that can help you and your spouse heal your damaged relationship. It is important that you pray for your partner as well as for yourself. You can also ask God to help and heal your marriage.

There is a lot of variety and choice of spiritual practices. I suggest that you find and practice one that fits with your beliefs and feels right for you.

Spiritual strength could give you both the patience, peace of mind, understanding, love, and forgiveness that is often necessary to work your way out of marital trouble.

5. TOLERATE THE EMOTIONAL PAIN

Marital crises often involve severe emotional pain for both partners. You or your spouse may feel very depressed, angry, terrified, confused, hopeless, etc.

Many people end their marriages because they do not want to tolerate these pains or because they believe that the marital problems will never go away.

But the old saying: “No Pain, No Gain" often holds true for marriages and most marital problems can be solved if both partners are willing to put in the necessary work.

Counseling, spiritual practice, and if needed, medication can help relieve some of your emotional pain. But often much of the pain brought on by marital crisis must be tolerated until the marital wounds are healed.

You and your partner need to understand and accept that you are wounded emotionally and that the healing process may be slow and gradual.

Not all marriages or relationships deserve to be saved. And not all emotional pain associated with a relationship should be tolerated to preserve it.

Extreme situations for example when one partner is regularly physically abusing the other and is refusing to seek professional help may require divorce or a break-up to solve the problem.

But emotional injury caused by typical marital conflicts can often be treated and healed. However this process typically involves emotional pain and your ability to tolerate and live with this pain is a valuable skill.

I often tell my clients “Happiness is on the other side of the pain".

In order to better understand and save your marriage you must work your way through and past the body of emotional pain that is blocking your way to marital happiness.

And if you do this work successfully your marriage will arrive at a new, higher grounds, where you can both feel free of pain and full of relationship joy, love, and appreciation of the meaning of marriage.




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There are no perfect marriage but you can definitely make it work. Always exert an effort to make your marriage work. Learn to accept each others differences.
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10 Secrets for a Happy Marriage

How did this happen? You went from holding a bouquet to handling dirty dishes in about 10 seconds flat. Don't despair! It happens to every bride: Reality sets in. In Best Advice on Starting a Happy Marriage, iVillagers share more than 150 secrets for turning your dream life as husband and wife into an everlasting reality. Read the excerpt below for a sneak peek at 10 ways to keep the passion alive and the house in order. (You'll have to buy the book for the other 140 tips on living happily ever after!)

Respect Rules

"If you don't have admiration for each other, things will not work. Don't let anything get in the way of respecting each other. Growing old together means exactly that, so accept that the body will change and love the person for who he is inside."

Touch of Gold

"Despite our hectic schedules, my husband and I always find time for even the slightest gestures -- a smile, a touch, a quick kiss. He always makes a point of touching me if we're in the same room, just to feel close and make a connection."

Agree to Disagree

"Even in the happiest marriages, two people are bound to disagree. On issues that don't affect our daily lives, my husband and I pretty much agree to disagree. We know that we won't always agree, but sometimes it's fun to discuss these things (such as political or religious views). On things that we must agree on, like how to raise our kids, we always discuss them and arrive at a compromise. That way there is no resentment. We just stay calm and always find a way."

Fighting Fair

"Don't be afraid to argue, but do it respectfully. Stick to the issues rather than making personal attacks, and learn to negotiate and compromise. Honest but constructive arguments will actually strengthen your marriage in the long run."

Love Isn't a Battlefield

"Never use sex as a weapon in a dispute with your spouse -- for instance, withholding sex as a way of dealing with an issue that's troubling you. Always keep the lines of communication open. If they shut down, you might want to consider counseling. There are various stages of love in a marriage, so be prepared for your love (and intimacy) to keep shifting over time. Both of you should realize that change is not a reason to look for sexual fulfillment outside of the marriage."

"It's important to discuss having children, not only before you get married but also as an ongoing dialogue after you get married. My husband and I talked about becoming parents while we were still dating. We both knew we wanted children and even agreed on the number. After our third child was born, however, my husband approached me with the idea of not having any more. After a year of thinking about it and discussing it, we came to the conclusion that we were both happy to stop our family at three kids, although we'd originally wanted five. As with everything in marriage, communication is key."

"Financial issues are often what break up a marriage, so it's especially important to talk about money in a productive, honest way. Be as blunt and open with each other as you can so that there is no hidden resentment about how your money is being spent. If one of you is unhappy about the way money is handled in your household, deal with it immediately. Of course, you should always be tactful, but you should also be able to freely discuss your concerns. Don't keep any anxieties to yourself because that won't help either of you. Remember that you're a team."

"My husband had a sudden downturn in his income level, which can be a devastating blow to some men's self-esteem. Many men seem to base their self-worth on how much they earn. I found that reassuring him about all the other qualities I love about him was very helpful. I also reminded him that any money coming into the house was always for both of us, regardless of who earned it."

"Don't whine and complain to your family about your spouse on a regular basis. Keep in mind that your family (and friends) will always -- or at least usually -- side with you even when you're wrong. If you constantly complain about your spouse to your family and friends, they will start to dislike him, which will cause you all sorts of difficulties later."

"When I first got married, I found that I was doing almost everything that needed to be done around the house. Finally I sat down and wrote out a list of what I did and what my husband did, and I showed it to him. He couldn't believe it; he had a very different perception of his contributions. That list opened up a dialogue about the issue, and we were able to split up the tasks in a way that seemed fair to both of us."



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All problems can be solved if you talked about it as early as possible. Marriage is not all about happiness, trials come to test your relationship. Be strong and always look forward to your goal, to have a happy and healthy marriage.

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Tiny anti-snoring device that might save your marriage

A tiny box implanted in the chest could be a revolutionary cure for snoring.

The device, about the size of a matchbox, works by stimulating the muscles responsible for keeping the airways open during sleep.

The high-tech implant is so advanced it can be programmed to switch itself on at the patient's usual bedtime and turn itself off around the time they wake up.
Noisy nights: Sleep apnoea affects three million Britons

Noisy nights: Sleep apnoea affects three million Britons

The patient also has a hand-held device to control the implant, in case they decide to stay up late or have a lie-in.

Although the device - called the Apnex System - is still undergoing testing, it could eventually help thousands of people who suffer from sleep apnoea, the snoringrelated condition that affects around three million Britons.

As sleep begins, the muscles in the airway relax. For most people this does not pose a problem. But in sleep apnoea it leads to a complete collapse, which shuts off breathing for at least ten seconds.

Once the brain realises breathing has stopped, it sends a signal for the airway muscles to contract again. This opens the airway and the sufferer normally wakes with a jolt.

In mild sleep apnoea, this can happen about once every ten minutes. If it's severe, it means sleep can be disturbed every couple of minutes.

Very few people remember waking up at all because they fall asleep again within seconds. Yet the cumulative effect is that they feel exhausted during the day.

Sleep apnoea is common in middle-aged men who are overweight, because excess fat around the neck puts pressure on the airways during sleep. Left untreated,it can raise the risk of high blood pressure and heart attacks.

Treatment normally begins with trying to lose weight. But many patients need a therapy called nasal Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP). This involves wearing a mask over the nose and mouth during sleep.

The mask is attached to a machine that increases the pressure of the air that is being inhaled.

This prevents the airway from collapsing, improves sleep and leads to better concentration during the day.

The treatment is very effective. But some people find the mask cumbersome. And it must be worn every night.

Other devices include special dental splints, which are worn at night in much the same way as a mouth-guard.

These work by pulling the lower jaw forward, so that the airway cannot collapse. But as sleep apnoea is such a common ailment, scientists have been busy searching for other solutions. The Apnex implant could be the answer.

The patient is given a general anaesthetic and surgeons implant the device beneath the collarbone on the right side of the torso. Two leads are wired up to muscles in the chest. Their job is to monitor breathing rate.

A separate lead is then tunnelled under the skin to the hypoglossal nerve, which is found underneath the tongue and is responsible for activating the muscles around the throat.

When the device is turned on, the sensors in the chest tell it when the patient is breathing in and out. The implant then sends a signal to stimulate the nerve during inhalation.

Once the hypoglossal nerve has been stimulated, it gets the muscles around the throat working properly so breathing is not disrupted and there is no snoring. Trials are under way in the U.S. and Australia, and the implant could be available in the UK within three years.

Professor John Stradling, an expert in respiratory medicine at the Churchill Hospital in Oxford, said the science behind the device was 'entirely plausible' and that stimulating the hypoglossal nerve will keep sleep apnoea at bay.

But he added that previous attempts to make similar devices have had mixed results.

'They worked to some extent,' he said. 'But there were reports that patients could feel the device during the night, which kept them awake just as much as the sleep apnoea. And in some early models, the wires broke.

'It also involves surgery, whereas the current CPAP treatment does not. I think this device might suit a few people, but it is a long way from becoming standard treatment.'



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I guess, if you really love you husband and wife you can get used to if he snores. Maybe he have a heart problem that's why he snores.

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How to Save Your Marriage When It’s Horribly Fractured

A marriage that you may deem horribly fractured may be repaired by simply doing a little mending to a broken heart that’s hurt and lonely.  Often times, a few minor things that go wrong in a relationship can fester into one big sore that only a doctor can remove.

Never underestimate the effect little thoughtless acts can have on a marriage whether newlyweds or mature couples.

Any marriage can get caught up in the day to day pressures of family and trying to make a living as you neglect the one person who’s vitally important; and that’s your spouse.  Without him or her, excluding children of course, all the work and planning would be worth nothing.  A fractured marriage may just require a little attention.

Spend quality time with each other.  It’s easy to think you do but keep an honest record of the actual time you’re with your spouse and how much time you spend with friends, children, work and doing household chores.  You may be surprised to find how little time you spend with your spouse, leaving one or both feeling badly neglected and unloved.

If too much of your time is being spent with friends and volunteer work, learn how to say no.  Change these habits to being together with friends or volunteer to work on the same project together.  Common goals create common interests which help a relationship bond.

Connect with each other every day with something meaningful and personal.  Simple pleasures are often best such as a walk in the park.  Take time to sip on wine while listening to music together, go to a movie or concert, dress up and treat it like a date.  Exercise together or ride a bike.  With some of these things you gain health benefits along with emotional.

You must talk with each other and communicate.  Describe your feelings on a regular basis.  Be descriptive and creative in your descriptions.  Focus on your feelings rather than your thoughts and be honest.  Share your good feelings along with the bad.  If you’re apart, then send emails with your feelings.  It may be easier to write them than say them.

When talking, give each other your undivided attention.  Don’t watch TV or glance at a magazine while talking. Respond without being critical.  Make eye contact.  Hold hands.

Smile and be supportive even if you don’t agree with everything being said.

Bring romance back into your life.  Hug often and touch each other even if just in passing.  As the old song goes, “Give me your hand when I cross the street, say I look nice when I’m not.”  Yes, little things can mean a lot when it comes to healing a lonely heart.  Tell your spouse you love him or her and think of different ways to say it, perhaps in a foreign language.

If your marriage has become boring and routine, be more spontaneous.  Take a trip on the spur of the moment or at least drive to a nearby town to a romantic restaurant and sneak a kiss when no one is looking.  Saving a fractured marriage can be as easy as getting out of your own little world and becoming a part of theirs.




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That's very true. Every couple should ha "WE" time together. Spend more time with each other maybe once a week date will be good.
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