10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

Sometimes as you are standing at the sink in the kitchen doing the dishes again, you just can't help but notice how nice your neighbor's patio is. You peek out back, to the space where your own patio could be, one day, with that outdoor couch set and the huge umbrella and lots of tropical trees strategically placed. But alas, you see grass, well sort of grass, maybe more mud than grass. And then it begins- you begin to notice the nicks in the walls from little matchbox cars, maybe a crayon or two going down the hallway, the dirty laundry pile which appears to be growing before your eyes...and you start to wonder, "Really, this is it?"

You see it didn't start out this way. You bought the house after an exhaustive search. You were excited and energized. You picked out paint colors together. You searched and found furniture for 'the perfect' spot. You happily hung pictures of new collages and arranged the pantry and bought the linens. You were busy creating a home. Eventually however, the paints are long put away, and the walls start to show their wear.

It seems to me, marriage is a lot like this house we make a home. We begin with excitement and a great spirit of hope for our future. We work feverishly to begin a life together. Eventually things settle in, and life happens. It seems to me this is when a perfectly good marriage begins to show its wear. I now long for the twenties, when I went to a lot of weddings, or the early thirties when I went to a lot of Christenings. The late thirties seem to involve a lot of divorce. So here is a bit of my perspective, which I wish that some of these same people would consider before they spend the rest of their life fighting over their children:

1. Get Over Yourself!: "I have a right to be happy"....No, You don't. Happiness is earned, and it has a lot to do with how hard you are willing to work for it.

2. Take Time: Do you go to the gym? Do you play an intramural sport? Do you go to classes to further your career? These are things you are doing to work on something. It's a concerted effort. Try giving your marriage a concerted effort. Guys- remember when you courted your wife? You worked on it. Now you need to work on it again.

3. Be Interested: When was the last time you showed interest in what your spouse does in their work life, spare time or home life?

4. Learn Something New Together: Discovering new territories of your relationship require you to change your perspective. Take a class together- online bible study, online cooking class, couples dancing class, online massage??? Figure it out.

5. Remember Why You Got Married: Stop fighting and remember back to why you got together in the first place. Look at old pictures and old journals. There was a reason you fell in love, find it.

6. Do Special Things for Each Other: Do one of the chores from your spouses list. Laundry is my domain, and I came home last night to about 6 loads folded and put away. It showed me that my husband truly loves me/has pity for me when I really need it.

7. Make Your Marriage a Priority: Sundays are my husbands only day off work, so I protect it like a Momma Bear. It's sacrosanct. I make no plans or commitments for the family. It's strictly our day as a family together. Treat your marriage like that.

8. Schedule Alone Time: Go away alone together once a year. If you can't afford it, have family or friends take your children for the night, and make your home a little escape for the night with lots of candles and great takeout- but no chores allowed.

9. Have Lots of Sex: Dr. Oz thinks our country is in a sex crisis cause we aren't having enough of it. Girls remember, sometimes sex is like running- you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it, then you do it, and you are like "Wow, why don't I do that more often?" Get creative, and do it, a lot of it.

10. Be Friends: Remember when you first started dating and were first married? Your spouse should be your best friend. He should be the first person you want to call when you have good news. If he's not, then you have a warning sign that attention is required!






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Saving your marriage is a big responsibility. Both of you should understand each other's opinion, have a date maybe once a week so you can talk about your family and relationship.

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Relationships : Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage - Don't Give Up

(SkyNewswire.com)--- Mending a relationship is not impossible. You just need to use a little common sense. But during times like this, most often our emotions take over and our minds take a back seat. Don't let that happen. Unless you are in control, your emotions can literally ruin everything for you.

#1 Stay calm
That is the very first step. Be composed and unruffled. Say to yourself that this marriage is going to work no matter what. You are going to save your marriage at all costs, and you are going to do that with your head, not your heart. You are not going to let your emotions take over. On the other hand, you're going to think and methodically act to reverse the situation. Many people just break down and cry without ever doing anything constructive. Don't be like them. You are going to act mature and ensure that this marriage is going to work for you, come what may. In case your partner likes to see you break down emotionally, they'll be in for a surprise this time.

#2 Get your act together
Focus on yourself for sometime. Go shopping. Get some nice clothes. Start to look attractive. When your partner sees you the next time, they should be shocked. In fact they should want you desperately. There is a lot of power in looking good. Use that to your advantage. You did when you were dating, right?! The chemistry worked back then. You just forgot all about it. It is time once again to start looking great. Make your partner desire you all over again. An outward change is a reflection of a change happening deep inside. Let them know that something has changed on the inside, and you need to do it in a noticeable but attractive way.

#3 Analyze
Take stock of the situation. Without any kind of bias, try to objectively see what really went wrong. If you need to take some time off and go some place, do it if that would help. List the things that you or your partner did wrong that contributed to the problem. Beside each of those points, write down what the right action should have been, so that you can follow that when it happens again. When you get back together again, these situations might arise once again. But since you have an idea about the right kind of response, you will be able to handle it positively.

#4 Establish contact
Once you have changed yourself and analyzed the problem, its time to talk, especially if you've not been seeing each other for a while. But please don't talk about the problem or about setting things right. This is just going to be a casual talk. It is dating time once again. You're just allowing them to set eyes on you once again.

#5 Exude confidence
Instead of begging and pleading them to come back, act confident and stay aloof for a while. Don't be snobbish or vengeful; just be confident and friendly. You'd be surprised to see that they want to be with you more than ever before.

Follow these steps methodically and you can have your partner back for keeps. I know that you would do anything to get them back. I am just helping you do it the right way. There is more help on the next page, in the form of a video and some quick tips to start the recovery process right away. Save Your Marriage right now!





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Effort to save your marriage is a big factor. Every problem can be solved, just talk about it and try to settle it as early as you can. You can save your marriage, there's no other time but now.

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52 Fantastic Dates For Fearless Married Couples

You mean we still have to date? Couples looking to renew their relationships ask this question all of the time. The answer is are sounding YES!!! It's the best way to ward off infidelity and alack of satisfaction with your relationship.

Think about it. Wasn't that the most interesting time in your relationship? You and your spouse were just getting to know one another and everything was fresh and new.

If you want to keep the spark in your marriage, sometimes you have to act as though you're still dating. No kids, no bills, no work. Nothing to distract you from getting to know each other a little better.

Here are 52 ideas for great dates. One for each week of the year. I'm not saying that's how often you should go out. I'm just providing some fuel for your fire.

And notice-- not once do I mention movies. No matter how fun they are, it's time to broaden your scope. From daring to romantic, here they are:

1. Visit a Safari park
2. Be tourists again, and tour your local historic site.
3. Go to the museum
4. Take in a play
5. Ride bikes in the park and have a picnic
6. Go roller skating/blading
7. Try your hand at bowling
8. Check out the planetarium
9. Take a cooking class together
10. Swim at the beach or lake
11. Go to an amusement park
12. Sing karaoke
13. Play pool
14. Get salsa lessons-- or try the tango
15. Fly a kite
16. Go rock climbing-- indoors or out
17. Hear some cool jazz
18. Try a poetry slam
19. Go line dancing
20. Try some tapas
21. See an opera
22. Check out a baseball game
23. Go to a book signing
24. Become putt-putt golf pros
25. Drive a race car
26. Play video games at an arcade
27. Walk along the pier
28. Ride in a glider
29. Run a race
30. Go to a hockey game
31. Eat at a Brazilian steakhouse
32. Solve clues at a mystery dinner theatre
33. Laugh at a comedy club
34. Embark on a dinner cruise
35. Make your personalized teddy bears
36. Find fish fascinating at the aquarium
37. Take a hike
38. Grab a cup of coffee and a decadent treat
39. Check out a concert under the stars
40. Feed each other fondue
41. Take a hot air balloon ride
42. Visit a vineyard
43. Treat yourself to the spa
44. Curl up next to a fire and read to each other
45. Be pampered at a bed & breakfast
46. Sit for a portrait
47. Go skiing
48. Ride in a helicopter
49. Catch the carnival while it's in town
50. Go antiquing (or junkin' depending upon your perspective)
51. Watch 'em ride at the rodeo
52. Make memories in an art/photography class





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If you're still clueless what to do with your husband and wife this Valentines day, now you can choose on the above choices and you'll definitely have a wonderful date.

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An inspiring story

I just want to share this short inspiring story. I hope it will touch your hearts and give more attention to your relationship with your husband and wife.

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.