Marriages are made in heaven, but divorces, they happen right here on earth. So always make sure that you do not rush to things and try out these easy remedies that might actually help you save your marriage.
Try to live separate for a few weeks:
Will separating save a marriage, you might ask. Well, separation can save a marriage but only if you do it right. The philosophy behind this is that human beings tend to take things that belong to them for granted. They forget to appreciate the value of what they possess and realize it only when the thing is taken away.
So plan a business trip or make up an excuse to get away from your loved ones for a while. When you are away, do not completely ignore your husband or wife. Try to send messages to them, email them your status and ask them theirs. Call them once in a while and before disconnecting, say the magic word 'I love you'.
While you are away you realize the things that you took for granted in your lover are no longer there. You tend to miss them and the magnet of love starts attracting the both of you towards each other again.
When you are back home, bring them back something unique and special from your trip. And make sure to tell them that you did miss them when you were away. All of us need a change and this could be just the right thing for the both of you.
Fire up your love life
Not sure how to go about it? Here are a few tips to get your started:
Go to the book store near you and buy a copy of Kamasutra. It does not matter if you read it or not. Just having the book in your house is a good enough sign that you are adventurous and want to try something new!
Invest in some quality CDs that illustrate the art of lovemaking. You can always pick up a thing or two watching them
Try roleplaying. This is a great way to explore your wildest fantasies.
Try to get that secret out. Believe it or not your lover will have at-least one fetish or wild fantasy that he or she is afraid to disclose to you fearing rejection. Try to get this secret out. The best way to do this is to talk to your lover. Firstly reveal your fantasies and then ask your lover to do the same. This is a great way to ensure that both of you get to know each other and your likings better. The more you know each other the better you can pleasure each other in bed
Okay, these were just a few tips, I am sure you got the point. So if you asked the question how can I save a marriage when my husband is living with mistress or my husband cheated, you know what to do.
Let Go of the Ego
Fights happen and ego clashes in fights between husband and wife are common. But are you going to let you ego take over your happy marriage? Probably not, if you are thinking sane. Before rushing into harsh decisions, let the fire settle down. Do not talk to each other for a while, but if your loved one wants to have a chat, support him and try to talk. Do not continue your golden silence.
Marriage is all about adjustments so try as much to accommodate the other person. If thing go beyond control, you can try living separately for a while.
I know a couple, where the husband had a bad drinking habit and this lead to constant fights and arguments. The wife decided to shift in with her parents and after a few weeks the husband came to pick her up promising never the drink again. If your loved one truly loves you, he will come back to you and when he does, accept him happily. Do not keep sulking, as this is the time to let go of your ego.
Share Everything That Happens - Never Hide Things
I know this is easier said than done, but you have to communicate everything that happens in your life to your beloved. This is one way to ensure that when things go wrong, your wife or husband is always there by your side.
>Let's take for instance, finances. Finances can have an adverse impact on your marriage. (So before it happens, learn to save.) If you find yourself in a bad financial situation, the first thing that you got to do is tell your spouse. If she loves you she will support you. But if you hide this fact from her and she comes to know about it at a later time, she is sure to get annoyed and label you as an incapable man.
So no matter what it is share it with your beloved.
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It's all about riding on the same boat. In able for the couple to have a good relationship is having the same goal in life, to have a wonderful and whole family. Sharing your thoughts with each other help a lot to maintain and save your marriage.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
How To Save Your Marriage And Lead Happy Marriage Life
It is alright if you want to know how to save your marriage. At least you admit that there are problems in your relationship and you are willing to do something to improve the situation. This is a good start to avoid the grasp of divorce and have destroyed many marriages.
Communication is essential
Learning how to save your marriage needs the contribution from both partners. The effort of one partner will usually end up in vain. Communication between you and your spouse is essential when you want to save your marriage. Keep open minded so misunderstanding will not arise and unexpressed feeling can be relieved through the communication.
Getting advice or counseling can be an effective way to improve communication between couples. However, this approach should also be supported by both partners. Counseling session can help both partners to see each other from a different point of view. The counselor will point up important facts that both of you have missed all these years. If you both are willing to do this, then it is a good sign and it is likely that you will find a way to save your marriage.
Once again, communication is the key in every relationship. It is important for each partner to be able to express his or herself. On the other hand, communication is always two ways, which means each partner needs to listen to his or her partner feeling as well. Effective communication is the key if you are wondering how to save your marriage.
Forgive and accept
This is perhaps the most difficult thing that couples have to do when they want to save their marriages. Once again, if you are willing to save your marriage, then you need to give things a chance. Find the problems and investigate the reasons that cause your marriage to break apart. Normally there are many reasons that can cause separation. Some of them are stupid, while some are really serious. Find the real problems and start working together to solve them.
In most cases, forgive and accept are the things that each of you have to do to save your marriage. Many people feel bitter and betrayed which makes them unable to forgive the traitor. You need to see your commitment and responsibility toward your marriage and give it another chance.
Therefore, if you want to know how to save your marriage, it is very essential to bring your spouse to the effort as well. If the desire is only one sided, it is difficult to achieve the desired outcome.
--------
You can save your marriage now! It's true that communication is an essential to have a good relationship with your loved one. Always make time for each other to talk things about your selves, about work, about your children etc. Everything is possible.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
Communication is essential
Learning how to save your marriage needs the contribution from both partners. The effort of one partner will usually end up in vain. Communication between you and your spouse is essential when you want to save your marriage. Keep open minded so misunderstanding will not arise and unexpressed feeling can be relieved through the communication.
Getting advice or counseling can be an effective way to improve communication between couples. However, this approach should also be supported by both partners. Counseling session can help both partners to see each other from a different point of view. The counselor will point up important facts that both of you have missed all these years. If you both are willing to do this, then it is a good sign and it is likely that you will find a way to save your marriage.
Once again, communication is the key in every relationship. It is important for each partner to be able to express his or herself. On the other hand, communication is always two ways, which means each partner needs to listen to his or her partner feeling as well. Effective communication is the key if you are wondering how to save your marriage.
Forgive and accept
This is perhaps the most difficult thing that couples have to do when they want to save their marriages. Once again, if you are willing to save your marriage, then you need to give things a chance. Find the problems and investigate the reasons that cause your marriage to break apart. Normally there are many reasons that can cause separation. Some of them are stupid, while some are really serious. Find the real problems and start working together to solve them.
In most cases, forgive and accept are the things that each of you have to do to save your marriage. Many people feel bitter and betrayed which makes them unable to forgive the traitor. You need to see your commitment and responsibility toward your marriage and give it another chance.
Therefore, if you want to know how to save your marriage, it is very essential to bring your spouse to the effort as well. If the desire is only one sided, it is difficult to achieve the desired outcome.
--------
You can save your marriage now! It's true that communication is an essential to have a good relationship with your loved one. Always make time for each other to talk things about your selves, about work, about your children etc. Everything is possible.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Saving Marriages With Unconditional Love
In the middle of a session the other day I had a powerful realization. I was asked to think of a relationship I had with something in the last week that in my mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal.
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.
So what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.
But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.
Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.
--------
Unconditional love is a great reason to save your mariage. If you have that unconditional love you can regain your relationship and continue to have a complete and happy family life.
As long as love remains in couple everything you went through will vanish.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.
So what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.
But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.
Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.
--------
Unconditional love is a great reason to save your mariage. If you have that unconditional love you can regain your relationship and continue to have a complete and happy family life.
As long as love remains in couple everything you went through will vanish.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
Save Your Marriage, Save Your Relationship, Stop Divorce
Steps to Saving Your Marriage Alone
(1) Release Control. Let go. Stop Criticism. Stop nagging. Stop pleading. Also stop declaring your undying love to him.
You will find that the more you nag and plead, the more you energetically drive the person away. Begging, pleading, desperation, neediness and criticism belong to the category of weak attractor energy patterns, they are forceful and force repels. Power attracts. Your inner power attracts.
Also people respond to emotions and not logic. Think about it. He has already made up his mind emotionally not to stay, convincing him logically to do so will not work.
What you need to do is this:
Listen passively to whatever he is saying and agree with it totally. Say, “Yes, I can see where you are coming from.” Simply agree. What you are really doing is verbal Aikido.
See, in Aikido, you encounter the greatest path of resistance is when you oppose someone directly. When you go along with their energy by agreeing, you dispel the energy. Their aggressive energy gets dissipated, while you remain in your center. Can you remember a time when you called up customer service to complain about a dodgy product? When they explained to you how you were wrong, did it not make you more angry? On the other hand, when they agreed with you and let you vent out your frustration, weren’t you in a better frame of mind to listen to what they had to say afterwards?
Next, you say that you respect his decision to part ways and that his happiness is important to you. This is a great way to show unconditional love. Realize that you are now “parting” on good terms. Your husband is parting with a wife that is unconditional in their love. This memory is going to stick with him.
Let them go on their own way, as you want to give them time to miss you. From now on withdraw all your wifely duties from your husband. Do not iron their clothes, wash and cook for them. This is about your self-respect. You are merely respecting his wishes by not interfering in his world as his wife anymore. This will also allow him to miss your “services”. However maintain your center in God. Do not go, “Ha, see what you are missing now!” It is all these good qualities in you that he is going to think about later.
Listen but do not place any value to the words,
“I am not in love with you.”
“I want to be with X. It is X that I love. I want to marry her.” Or any other variations thereof.
From this instance you are centered on God, not on appearances that are not of love.
Also, giving him space will give you time to focus to re-evaluate what you want for yourself and your marriage.
(2) Surrender your marriage in its current state to a higher power.
Recognize that there is a power greater than you that can give strength to rebuild your marriage. Connect to Spirit.
I know what you are thinking. Surrendering to spirit means giving up and losing control of your life, right? If that is what you are thinking, then you don't know what surrendering to Spirit is about. In fact it holds an often overlooked secret in saving your marriage. I have written an entire article on unlocking the secret to surrendering your marriage to Spirit.
(3) Decide on what you want (a) for yourself and (b) your marriage.
This is about focusing on solutions, rather than problems. Do you know the difference between problem thinking and outcome thinking? So many people are fixated on solving their marriage problems. They put so much energy and attention to their marriage problems, that eventually keep expanding because that is what they are focusing on and they wonder why they are not getting anywhere.
Working towards a solution is about investing energy and attention towards what you want for your marriage rather than what you don't want, ie your problems. It helps you focus on what you intend to see beyond marriage reconciliation horizon.
Many people write to me at great length about how they hate the other woman, how he is having sex with the other woman. They write about their fears. All that is understandable. However, when they invest their energy into how good it is for him and this other women, they are indeed manifesting relationship success for the other women. Also, they are manifesting their fears. Are you sabotaging your own marriage without realizing it? - Watch how you are activating the law of attraction in your marriage.
I show you how to put your focus in solving your marriage problems here.
Also, as I have discussed before, power attracts - your inner power attracts. Regain it. Inner power comes from regaining your self esteem and self confidence.
" I'm a diamond 'growing' through some uncomfortable changes right now. The fiery process will burn away things, people, habits and beliefs I no longer need to hold on to. The polishing will make me shine with wisdom, faith, courage, peace and victory over my circumstances.
In spite of the pain from the cutting of the diamond within me, I will get better not bitter because something great is about to happen in my life. I will stay in the Light...because I am precious in God's sight." -- Jewel Diamond Taylor
A few more tips written for women who are saving marriage alone.
- Integrate Spirit into your marriage saving solution. Do not try to be superwoman and do it all alone. Memorize this statement: "God will not intervene in my life, unless asked." I am not making all of this up - I got all the information after researching extensively on Near Death Experience reports - there is some information that is consistent and this is one of them.
- See how prayer works in saving your marriage
- How you can co-create your marriage with Spirit
- When your husband withholds his love, rely on Spirit to fulfill your emotional needs.
- Do not be deterred by appearances that are not of love coming from your husband. Your focus is faith in the Divine and not on appearances that are not of love.
- Do not try to reform your husband by preaching to him. Accept him as he is. Do your co-creation work with Spirit in the background.
- Live one day at a time.
- Do not ask for family and friends for advice. Pay no attention to what his friends are telling him to do either.
- Do what you can legally to delay the divorce.
- Do not badmouth your husband behind his back. Your negative vibrations will get to him.
- Do not manipulate your children to take your side.
--------
If you have the heart and goal to save your marriage you can do it! It's not easy what you'll be going through, just be patient and believe that you can surpass it all.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
(1) Release Control. Let go. Stop Criticism. Stop nagging. Stop pleading. Also stop declaring your undying love to him.
You will find that the more you nag and plead, the more you energetically drive the person away. Begging, pleading, desperation, neediness and criticism belong to the category of weak attractor energy patterns, they are forceful and force repels. Power attracts. Your inner power attracts.
Also people respond to emotions and not logic. Think about it. He has already made up his mind emotionally not to stay, convincing him logically to do so will not work.
What you need to do is this:
Listen passively to whatever he is saying and agree with it totally. Say, “Yes, I can see where you are coming from.” Simply agree. What you are really doing is verbal Aikido.
See, in Aikido, you encounter the greatest path of resistance is when you oppose someone directly. When you go along with their energy by agreeing, you dispel the energy. Their aggressive energy gets dissipated, while you remain in your center. Can you remember a time when you called up customer service to complain about a dodgy product? When they explained to you how you were wrong, did it not make you more angry? On the other hand, when they agreed with you and let you vent out your frustration, weren’t you in a better frame of mind to listen to what they had to say afterwards?
Next, you say that you respect his decision to part ways and that his happiness is important to you. This is a great way to show unconditional love. Realize that you are now “parting” on good terms. Your husband is parting with a wife that is unconditional in their love. This memory is going to stick with him.
Let them go on their own way, as you want to give them time to miss you. From now on withdraw all your wifely duties from your husband. Do not iron their clothes, wash and cook for them. This is about your self-respect. You are merely respecting his wishes by not interfering in his world as his wife anymore. This will also allow him to miss your “services”. However maintain your center in God. Do not go, “Ha, see what you are missing now!” It is all these good qualities in you that he is going to think about later.
Listen but do not place any value to the words,
“I am not in love with you.”
“I want to be with X. It is X that I love. I want to marry her.” Or any other variations thereof.
From this instance you are centered on God, not on appearances that are not of love.
Also, giving him space will give you time to focus to re-evaluate what you want for yourself and your marriage.
(2) Surrender your marriage in its current state to a higher power.
Recognize that there is a power greater than you that can give strength to rebuild your marriage. Connect to Spirit.
I know what you are thinking. Surrendering to spirit means giving up and losing control of your life, right? If that is what you are thinking, then you don't know what surrendering to Spirit is about. In fact it holds an often overlooked secret in saving your marriage. I have written an entire article on unlocking the secret to surrendering your marriage to Spirit.
(3) Decide on what you want (a) for yourself and (b) your marriage.
This is about focusing on solutions, rather than problems. Do you know the difference between problem thinking and outcome thinking? So many people are fixated on solving their marriage problems. They put so much energy and attention to their marriage problems, that eventually keep expanding because that is what they are focusing on and they wonder why they are not getting anywhere.
Working towards a solution is about investing energy and attention towards what you want for your marriage rather than what you don't want, ie your problems. It helps you focus on what you intend to see beyond marriage reconciliation horizon.
Many people write to me at great length about how they hate the other woman, how he is having sex with the other woman. They write about their fears. All that is understandable. However, when they invest their energy into how good it is for him and this other women, they are indeed manifesting relationship success for the other women. Also, they are manifesting their fears. Are you sabotaging your own marriage without realizing it? - Watch how you are activating the law of attraction in your marriage.
I show you how to put your focus in solving your marriage problems here.
Also, as I have discussed before, power attracts - your inner power attracts. Regain it. Inner power comes from regaining your self esteem and self confidence.
" I'm a diamond 'growing' through some uncomfortable changes right now. The fiery process will burn away things, people, habits and beliefs I no longer need to hold on to. The polishing will make me shine with wisdom, faith, courage, peace and victory over my circumstances.
In spite of the pain from the cutting of the diamond within me, I will get better not bitter because something great is about to happen in my life. I will stay in the Light...because I am precious in God's sight." -- Jewel Diamond Taylor
A few more tips written for women who are saving marriage alone.
- Integrate Spirit into your marriage saving solution. Do not try to be superwoman and do it all alone. Memorize this statement: "God will not intervene in my life, unless asked." I am not making all of this up - I got all the information after researching extensively on Near Death Experience reports - there is some information that is consistent and this is one of them.
- See how prayer works in saving your marriage
- How you can co-create your marriage with Spirit
- When your husband withholds his love, rely on Spirit to fulfill your emotional needs.
- Do not be deterred by appearances that are not of love coming from your husband. Your focus is faith in the Divine and not on appearances that are not of love.
- Do not try to reform your husband by preaching to him. Accept him as he is. Do your co-creation work with Spirit in the background.
- Live one day at a time.
- Do not ask for family and friends for advice. Pay no attention to what his friends are telling him to do either.
- Do what you can legally to delay the divorce.
- Do not badmouth your husband behind his back. Your negative vibrations will get to him.
- Do not manipulate your children to take your side.
--------
If you have the heart and goal to save your marriage you can do it! It's not easy what you'll be going through, just be patient and believe that you can surpass it all.
Resources of How To Save Your Marriage
How to Save Your Marriage
When you exchanged vows, you promised your spouse that you would stay with them “until death do you part.” So what happened to get you to the point that you are considering divorce? If you can remember what made you fall in love in the first place, you can learn how to save your marriage by following these simple tips.
Step 1
Schedule some time together. Turn off your cell phones, your television and your instant messenger. Now sit down together and really listen to each other. Share your feelings with your spouse and listen to them share their feelings as well.
Step 2
Write each other love letters. Taking the time to send your spouse a little reminder that you love them can really help you reconnect. Plus, emphasizing your significant other’s best qualities can remind you what made you fall in love in the first place.
Step 3
Plan a date night. Many couples get so comfortable with each other after being married for several years that they stop dressing up for each other and going out on dates. You can re-energize your relationship with your spouse by planning a night out once a week when you have no choice but to dress your best.
Step 4
Do something for yourself. If you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, you’re probably going to reflect that onto your spouse. Create an exercise program to help you lose weight and eat a balanced diet. Buy yourself a new outfit for date night, or spend a day at the spa. Do something that makes you feel better about yourself.
Step 5
Make your spouse your number one priority. With work and kids demanding your constant attention, it’s easy to ignore the other adult in your life. But someday it will once again just be the two of you, and you are going to find that you no longer truly know the person sleeping beside you. Take a moment each day for your spouse and let them know you’re thinking about them throughout the day.
--------
Time for each other takes a big role in a relationship. Husband and wife should spend time for themselves alone after a long week of work to maintain their bond and share each others thoughts. This will help to save your marriage, it will make you think that at the end of the day there's someone who will listen to you and share your success and failures with.
Resources of How to Save Your Marriage
Step 1
Schedule some time together. Turn off your cell phones, your television and your instant messenger. Now sit down together and really listen to each other. Share your feelings with your spouse and listen to them share their feelings as well.
Step 2
Write each other love letters. Taking the time to send your spouse a little reminder that you love them can really help you reconnect. Plus, emphasizing your significant other’s best qualities can remind you what made you fall in love in the first place.
Step 3
Plan a date night. Many couples get so comfortable with each other after being married for several years that they stop dressing up for each other and going out on dates. You can re-energize your relationship with your spouse by planning a night out once a week when you have no choice but to dress your best.
Step 4
Do something for yourself. If you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, you’re probably going to reflect that onto your spouse. Create an exercise program to help you lose weight and eat a balanced diet. Buy yourself a new outfit for date night, or spend a day at the spa. Do something that makes you feel better about yourself.
Step 5
Make your spouse your number one priority. With work and kids demanding your constant attention, it’s easy to ignore the other adult in your life. But someday it will once again just be the two of you, and you are going to find that you no longer truly know the person sleeping beside you. Take a moment each day for your spouse and let them know you’re thinking about them throughout the day.
--------
Time for each other takes a big role in a relationship. Husband and wife should spend time for themselves alone after a long week of work to maintain their bond and share each others thoughts. This will help to save your marriage, it will make you think that at the end of the day there's someone who will listen to you and share your success and failures with.
Resources of How to Save Your Marriage
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