Save Your Marriage - Are There Good Enough Reasons For Doing So?

If you are going through a bad marriage chances are that you are looking for ways and means to save your marriage from friends, marriage counselors or even the internet. With so many marriages cracking up all over the world, it is not surprising to find scores of suggestion and advices including things to do, how to plan, how to strategize and so on filling up shelves at the bookstores as well as the internet. While most would talk about deploying the most proven techniques to save your marriage no one really talks about taking the reverse course of action and think, whether at all there are good reasons for doing what you are trying to do - to save your marriage.

Marriage between two people is also a union of the mind as well as sharing of commitments and responsibilities that come with it. When things go sour, obviously there has something gone wrong at some basic levels. Of all the issues that upset the apple cart, some are easily identifiable as well as solvable too. For example, if the sourness in the marriage is due to a third person, you can either live with the idea or reject your partner. There is no question about how to save your marriage in such cases. Similarly, you can treat physical incompatibility largely through medical intervention. If this does not work, it perhaps hardly makes sense to save your marriage. Nevertheless, issues linked to mental incompatibilities are more difficult to analyze objectively and solve to save your marriage. This is precisely the area where you need to sit back and think, whether at all it makes sense to take the initiative to save your marriage. Here are some pointers to think about as to why you should try to save your marriage:

- Are you trying to save your marriage because of issues like children, finances, insecurities about future, etc?

- Are you making efforts to save your marriage because you believe that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the relationship except that it has taken a beating caused by familiarity or negligence?

- Are you trying to save your marriage because your ego has been hurt?

- Are you mentally scared of loneliness that is bound to follow a separation and hence your need to save your marriage?

- Is the reason to save your marriage due to your feeling insecure?

- If the marriage has been for long, you know your spouse well by now. Are you sure that the differences responsible for causing problems in the marriage are resolvable?

- Do you think that both of you still trust the reasons why you came together?

- Do you still value the friendship of your spouse?

- Leaving out sex, money, children and security, can you write down five good reasons why you want your spouse back and save your marriage?

One can go on endlessly on this subject but you might have got it by now the importance of making your mind clear of mental debris and starting to thing afresh. Remember to save your marriage might be easy for short-term gains, but it might be difficult to keep your marriage, if the reasons to save your marriage was not good and strong enough. But like I always say... if you think it is wort to fight to save it, you should do it.

Why is saving your marriage so important to you? Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.

Losing a lover is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. Losing a spouse is even worse. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.

But don't give up on the love of your life yet. It is too early for this. You can learn a cutting edge approach to successful reuniting with your lost lover or spouse. These methods have been used by many with an extraordinary degree of success. Please visit my site at http://www.LonelinessToHappiness.com/ to find out how you can get your ex back in your life and make her or him fall in love with you again. I will teach you how to put the passion back in your relationship. You will be in good hands.





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If you're going through hard times in your relationship now, try to talk about it as early as you can so you can fix it easily. Communication gives less burden. There are many reasons why you should save your marriage and always choose the right thing to do.

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Save Your Marriage For the Sake of the Kids - Is it Worth It?

Incompatibilities, infidelity and physical and emotional inadequacies are perhaps a few of the many reasons why marriages break. If you are reading this, perhaps you too are going through a troubled marriage and you feel that a breakup is imminent. You want to save your marriage not for anything else, but for the sake of your kids. They are reasons enough to stick to an otherwise loveless marriage.

While this is a noble gesture confirming your spirit of self-sacrifice and selflessness, some matters need your consideration if you want to save your marriage for the sake of the kids. This means that you would have left your spouse, if only the kids were not there, as kids from a broken home do suffer, and you know it more than anyone else.

Before you actually sit down to take a final call whether or not to save your marriage, for the sake of the kids, there is a need to do some soul-searching regarding the mutual feelings. Are you still in love with your husband? If he has called it quits, is it because he is in love with another woman or is it just that he wants to free himself from you? Do a frank and unbiased analysis of the existing situation, before you take steps to save your marriage for the sake of the kids. Here are some suggestions:

• Even if you are successful in saving your marriage for the moment and stall your husband's decision for a divorce, how long do you think you can carry on with a loveless existence?

• Have you tried to talk over the matter with your kids? If the kids are very clear about their intentions to stay with the father, you might have to think of parting ways with the family, in stead of working out ways to save your marriage.

• You need financial strength to stay away and manage the kids as a single parent. If your income along with the money from your ex husband can ensure a decent life for you and the children, there is hardly any point in making efforts to change your husband's decision and save your marriage.

• No woman ever likes to walk out of a happy marriage. Obviously things are not perfect in your relationship which has caused this conflict of interest. Think hard, whether such issues can at all be resolved, if not in its entirety, but at least up to livable standards. If you are sure that you can live with such half-measures, for the sake of the kids then you must go ahead and take steps to retrieve as much as possible and save your marriage.

Whether you are still together and having problems or you are already separated and want to save your marriage... the next step is absolutely crucial!

Don't make the mistake of saying or doing something that will kill your chances of getting back together with your spouse. Find out what you need to do to save your marriage and emotionally reconnect with her or him again.




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I think it would be a big factor to save your marriage for your kids because they are the one who are most affected in any broken marriages. But if you really think that your life will be at peace if you separate ways and you cannot fix it anymore then you can do it. Always try to fix any troubles you are having because every marriage is worth saving.

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Why whispering could save your marriage

When times get tough in relationships, we will more often than not find ourselves raising both our voices and most likely our blood pressure.

But according to consultant forensic psychologist Kerry Daynes, whispering sweet nothings could just save your marriage.

She told The Telegraph: "When couples are having difficulty communicating with each other, whispering can be a helpful technique.

"It requires both parties to make a conscious effort to listen. The whisperer is likely to slow down their communication and therefore think a little more about what they are saying.

"Meanwhile, the whisperee has to concentrate in order to hear what has been said and so may listen more effectively than usual."

Of course, it's not always that simple. A recent study in Texas revealed that emotional whisperings are more effective when delivered to the left ear so you'll need to bear that in mind.

And there is always the chance that you'll be entirely misheard, resulting in a row over whatever it was you were trying not to row about.

While Daynes admits that though it is "a simplistic strategy", it does "help to create an atmosphere of intimacy.

"It requires proximity – you obviously have to get close to be heard," she says.

And therein lies the problem.





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I haven't think that whispering can be a good communication tool for couples. I think she is right that whisperer can have more time to think and the whisperee will exert more effort to listen. What a brilliant idea.

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Can You Save Your Marriage?

Are you experiencing relationship difficulties? Have you reached a point in your marriage that seems like all is lost? Are you afraid that there is no hope left for your relationship? You’re not alone; in fact many couples experience difficulties in their relationships for a variety of reasons. Yet, no matter what the reason for the difficulties in your marriage, there is hope and such problems can be overcome!

The first step in saving a marriage that is in danger of falling apart is to determine whether or not both partners within the marriage possess a mutual desire to save the marriage. If one partner wants to maintain and work on the marriage while another partner elects not do, all of the work and effort that is put into making the relationship work will ultimately come to naught. Thus, a mutual desire on behalf of both partners to remain in the relationship must exist.

The second step in repairing the damage in any relationship is to determine the cause of the problem in the first place. Sometimes the problem is screamingly clear like when one or both partners engage in extramarital affairs, while other times the reason for problems may not appear so obvious; perhaps you are experiencing a sense of alienation from your spouse because you no longer spend time together the way you used to when you first met. Thus, in clearly defining the problem, it will become easier to focus on possible solutions and to repair your marriage.

Once you have defined the problem, it comes time to look at possible solutions. Further, the seriousness of the existing problem in your marriage will directly parallel the amount of effort it will take to save your marriage. For example, in the case of a slowly distancing relationship, couples can slowly work on rebuilding the intimacy shared in the relationship while in the case of an extramarital affair it may take a significant amount of time to overcome the sense of betrayal each of the partners may feel.

Changing the way you think about your current relationship with your spouse can make a tremendous difference in your relationship. For instance, instead of dwelling on the current problems that may exist within your marriage: why not reflect on how your relationship was before all your problems began? Think about what it was like when you and your partner first met and you fell in love with one another. Do you remember how being in love made you feel? Do you remember being willing to go above and beyond what was necessary to please and satisfy your partner? Once you recall the niceties that you used to implement in your relationship, you can once again employ such behaviors and in doing so, you can begin to repair your marriage.

Finally, a positive attitude is imperative if you desire to save your marriage. Thus, if you truly want to rescue your relationship and save it from falling completely apart or resulting in divorce, you will have to be willing to let go of any feelings of resentment or bitterness you feel toward your partner. Such a task may not be easy, especially if your partner has had an affair; nevertheless, by not letting go of the resentment you may presently feel, you are already setting your relationship up to fail. Therefore, in a sincere effort to save your marriage, be sure to set aside any negative emotions you may have and focus on being positive by looking to the future and the potential of renewal that your relationship holds.





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As long as you are eager to save your relationship you can do it. Trust your feelings and be patient to win your husband and wife back.

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Fix Marriage…How Control Issues Can Cause Marriage Problems

Have you ever been irritated because your mate does things differently than you do?

Does it upset you if your spouse makes different choices and has different opinions than you do? If so, you have encountered some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your relationship. To save your marriage from needless damage, there are some key points you’ll want to understand.

To reduce the risk of marital problems that can lead to marriage separation, here are three important considerations:

1. Fear is at the bottom of control issues.

When a spouse has controlling behavior in the relationship, marriage problems often result. The feelings you have at those times can be very intense and may include extreme anger at the other person. A controlling wife may feel more secure when her husband mirrors her beliefs, opinions, and choices. Your safety fears and needs contribute to your wanting others to be just like you. The old adage, "There’s safety in numbers," refers to this ancient fear of standing alone.

Also, most people feel more in control when they can predict how others will act and when others meet their expectations. Then they don't have to experience the discomfort of changing, growing, or stretching themselves. Instead, they can pretend that their world is logical, predictable, orderly, and safe.

2. Thinking your spouse should be just like you causes marital problems.

Your control issues are also triggered by seeing your spouse as an extension of yourself. This perception can result in trying to dictate which clothes your spouse wears, who she is friends with, how she wears her hair, what political views she holds, and what she can or cannot do. While your partner may initially make some changes trying to keep the peace, you are creating a parent-child dynamic in your marriage that will eventually foster rebellion and resentment and my ultimately lead to marriage crisis.

3. Using name calling and insults are attempts by a controlling spouse to dominate the partner.

While nothing sinister is involved in many control issues in marriages, pathological behavior can be triggered in some instances. For example, a controlling husband who is upset that the wife did not follow his directions could become physically and emotionally abusive. The partner may believe he has the right to "punish" the other person. Derogatory put-downs and name calling, such as "What a stupid thing to do," are often used to re-establish control over the other person.

It's easy to point a finger at your spouse and to say that he or she needs to change. It's more difficult to face your own unresolved issues head-on and take responsibility for how you need to change. But avoiding change instead of nurturing your relationship can be a sure path to marital separation and divorce. A marriage counselor can often help a partner to see his or her own role in marital dynamics.

As you gain awareness of control issues in your marriage, the starting place for change is always with yourself and your response to what is happening.




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Respect is a big role in every marriage. Always respect your partner even if you have different perspectives in many things. As long as you have respect for one another your marriage will survive every trials.

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