1. To disagree Lovingly
This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non-accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger pointing, instead channel your negative energy to constructive problem solving.
2. Define your Roles and Responsibilities early on
With double incomes the norm in modern families, the line between 'his' and 'her' role is thus blurred, and misunderstandings can arise as to who is supposed to do what. So prioritise your tasks base on your needs and abilities. Generally, the person who can get the job done more efficiently takes on the task. Be fair and don't overload one spouse.
3. Think the Best of your partner
A healthy dose of give and take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner, have faith that he or she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions. When a husband chooses to protect and affirm his wife, she will reciprocate by becoming his faithful friend. This is the secret to great marital bliss and fulfilment, when two stand united and committed as one.
4. Be aware of Gender differences
Blame it on our evolution as man and woman. We are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles to each other. Couples need to acknowledge these differences and accept them instead of trying to change each other at the core.
5. Schedule exclusive You and Me time
Husband and wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year. One couple say they plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids. Besides spending quality time together, they review their married life over the last 12 months, and strategise for the upcoming year as a couple. To them, marriage is a long term investment which needs consistent, conscious and careful planning.
6. Take an interest in your partner's Well Being
Many times, we miss the forest for the trees in our relationships. Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other's emotional health as it will fortify the physical well being and enhance the marriage.
7. Know yourself Better
If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him or her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.
8. Count to 10 before you Lash out in Anger
Very often, it is not what your say that will make your partner angry, it is how you say it. The closer the relationship you have with someone, the more difficult it is to be objective in hearing your partner's view, especially when it is communicated negatively. So whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.
9. Don't go to bed Angry with each other
Anger and ill feeling have a way of festering over time. It is always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as possible, that is, after both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem solving stage.
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Having problems in a relationship because of your differences are most couples going through. Don't give up. Try to be calm and try to fix things as early as you can. Try to understand each others differences and accept one another.
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