Three simple tips to save your marriage

Those traveling the road of marriage can have some difficulties at times. It can take an enormous amount of work for your marriage to thrive, and even then sometimes it can fail. Our world today is full of split up couples, broken marriages, and divorce as a result of ill managed relationships and marriages. To keep this from happening in your marriage, take the steps necessary for saving your marriage.

Three simple tips to save your marriage

Look and listen
Talk
Do

Look at those around you in your family. Be watchful with both your eyes and ear of signs of trouble. Do you sense tension between you and your spouse? Make a list the problems you believe exist in your marriage. This will help you gain a prospective of the real problems rather than an all encompassing everything is wrong. The next step is to come up with solutions to your problems. Yes, that is correct you should have more than one solution possibility for each problem.

Prepare to have a conversation with you spouse about the problems and solutions in a calm manner. Be prepared for how the conversation will go and what the reactions might be. Keeping your cool will help keep the conversation going in a positive direction. With that settled you can ask your partner in a pleasant manner if they would have a conversation about something very important.

This conversation should include asking for your partners input as well as sharing your thoughts. Blame should not be a part of the conversation.

Together you can identify solutions to the problems. Be open to consider any solutions your partners shares along with your own solutions. The end result should be solutions you both take ownership of and agree together by compromise.
The last tip is to do. After the talking is done, it is time to put the action behind the solutions. Both of you must follow through on your plan by the necessary actions. This should be done with sincerity. Help each other through the process. If follow through with the actions become a problem, look for relook at the situations for a better more realistic solution. But first make sure everything has been done to try to follow the established plan. Do not give up too quickly or easily. Most things can be accomplished with good attitude and a little motivation.




-------------------
Saving your marriage is a responsiblity for both couple. It has to be given time, courage, willingness, trust and love.

Source

My married life

I've been married for about 1 year and 10 months, long, long way to go. My husband is out of the country so we just spent 2 months and 3 weeks together as a married couple. That's really hell and it really made us so depressed because we got little time to enjoy our honeymoon stage and life together as husband and wife. They say that your first year is the adjustment stage and yet we haven't been to that because it's different when you're on the same house that's the time to get to know each other better. I wish that we could spent our time together now, I wish we could be together for us to experience the beauty of marriage.

Though we're apart, misunderstandings and quarrels are still part of our relationship and it's so hard to fix things up because we are not together. Pride should be left out because we wanted to make our relationship work. On those trouble times, I feel like dying. It kills me to think that we have problem and we got no time to talk it over because he have to go to work and we have different time zone but we make sure that we talk about it but for me I want to settle it on the same moment but it's impossible I have to wait and make my self suffer for some time. It would be easier to mend our problems if we were together but still I'm just thinking that it's God's way of making us stronger and tougher. We've gone through so much pain, heartaches, stress, depression, anxieties and happy moments even we're apart. God has He's own plans and I'm lifting everything to him.

We got long way to go and I'm hoping that soon we'll have each other again and have a wonderful life together.

A Reminder of Love - Renewing Marriage Vows

Renewing marriage vows is one of the most loving, romantic and memorable thing a couple can do for each other. The process of going through a wedding to rekindle the moment you offered your whole being to one another is heart warming and reinforces your devotion to each other. It's a good way to celebrate your 10th or even 20th wedding anniversary. It is especially memorable if you are doing it to celebrate your 50th year. You can also do that if you never got wedded in church before or if your first ceremony was not really what you would consider your dream one.

If, due to the fact that you were just starting out your careers, you had a simple ceremony, now that you're financially stable, you can opt to renewing marriage vows in a grand and ornate manner, an occasion that both of you deserves. Another reason for renewing marriage vows as a way to strengthen your union after surviving tough times and as a symbol to others that you are still going strong together. However, both parties must be into this so its meaning is not lost-it won't work if one of you is not up to it. Also, renewing marriage vows is not a show of one-up-man-ship.

Marriage is a sacred vow and should not be taken lightly just because you want to make others jealous or you want to be the center of attention. The ceremony can be an intimate and solemn yet candid occasion. There are somewhat fewer rules to follow, unlike in your first wedding. This occasion's focus is solely on what you have to say to each other as you renew your love for one another. By all means have your children and close friends attend the renewing marriage vows ceremony to make it a truly close and personal celebration. Organize renewing marriage vows, as you would any other big event.

Make a plan of the event, much like you did in your first wedding. You don't have to go as far as hiring a wedding planner but don't hesitate to get assistance if needed. Plan what you want on that day including the budget, the location, the theme, and even where the second reception will be held. While there may be some stress, it can be lessened if the rest of your family pitches in, especially your children. As this is your own private little party you can really customize it according to your liking as long as the important stuff are there.

This is means that you can do without having any groomsmen and bridesmaid and since you are already legally married having a clergy or a judge to officiate your ceremony can be optional. And needless to say bachelor or bachelorette parties are out although you may hold get together parties. And of course you don't solicit for gifts. Older couples, especially those that have been together 50 years or more can be extravagant in renewing marriage vows because if you've been together 50 years that truly deserves a celebration. In renewing marriage vows, just be sure it's from the heart-the more sincere and heartfelt it is, the more unforgettable it will be for everyone.

This is the time to show your spouse and the people around you how much you genuinely love and cherish your partner, so make the most out of it. Shout to the world how great you life is by having a great partner.




-------------------
Love in any relationship is  very important and it's always better to renew it by giving each other more time to bond together and discover different things on each other. This may help to save your relationship.

Source

Save Marriage - Managing Individual Differences to Save a Marriage From Divorce

As humans, we are bound to have differences either in opinion, utterance, or actions. We view issues from different perspectives as a result of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These individual differences may lead our marriage into divorce if not properly managed.

The menace of individual differences in marriage may come in the following forms:

1) The stubborn adherence to one's own opinion or position on the part of one or both partners on a particular issue. This will lead to defending this position or opinion, prevailing on other to accept it or holding it against them, thereby carrying out discussion in a contentious manner in order to gain upper hand.

2) Dissension: This is when a dispute becomes severe and harsh, when the only concern of each partner in the marriage is getting better than the other. There is no concern for finding out the truth or clarifying what is right.

To therefore guide couples against these aforementioned menace and lead them towards the path of effectively managing individual opinion differences in marriage, the following must be first properly understood:

- If differences of opinion operates in a healthy framework, it would enrich each partner and stimulate intellectual development. It would help to expand perspectives and help look at problems and issues in their wider and deeper ramifications and with greater precision and thoroughness.

- If intentions are sincere, differences of opinion could bring about greater awareness of the various possible aspects and interpretations of issues.

On understanding this, couples should take advantage of their opinion differences instead of allowing it to split their marriage. To actualize this, each partner must have the following ethics:

PATIENCE Patience in relating with others is something that is difficult. However, it cannot be compromised if couples must stay together. There is need for patience in convincing the other partner about a particular view point, patience at the face of provocation from one's partner, patience on the part of a partner in carrying out a responsibility allotted by the marriage bond, patience in calling others to action.

Patience with oneself is also very important. Each partner must know his/her self in matter of strength and weaknesses and learn how to overcome the weaknesses. This will help not to stick to extreme positions where there are easier options so as to carry the other partner along.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Love comes in different forms such as the romantic love, Hollywood-style love etc. The type of love needed in this case is the unconditional love. It is the type of love that holds the relationship when the romantic, Hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults and makes mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner's faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults, not perfect and make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. That's called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections.






-----------------
For me acceptance and understanding are the key to mend individual differences. Saving a marriage is a difficult situation in life but I guess if we try to accept each others differences it could work out.

Source

How to Increase Intimacy in Your Marriage

There is a common misconception about intimacy. Most people hear the word intimacy and think of sex. And while sexual intimacy is certainly a form of closeness and expression in a marriage, it is not all there is to intimacy. Becoming closer to the one you love is a lifelong process. Just as you grow and change over a lifetime, so does your spouse. Because of this, your intimacy will change and grow as well if you put the time and effort into caring for it on a daily basis.

Intimacy involves at its core a great deal of trust. You must have faith that your partner values the deepest parts of you in order to share them. So if you are having a real problem with intimacy, you may want to examine your ideas about trust and any obstacles that stand in the way of trust in your marriage. Some people bring an innate fear of intimacy into the marriage and find it difficult to move past this fear and continue to grow with the relationship. This is a good time to seek some professional counselling to move beyond this block.

If you find that your spouse is the one with a fear of intimacy, encourage them to seek professional help as they discover the roots of this issue and the positive steps they can take to affirm trust in your relationship. It is important not to blame a lack of intimacy on any one person. You may be tempted to place blame on your partner for a lack of sexual intimacy or a lack of emotional intimacy. Understand, however, that all human beings need intimacy with other human beings. So if your spouse is having trouble establishing that intimacy, it is not due to stubbornness or even conscious choice in some cases, but rather to unconscious patterns and fears.

If you can have an open discussion with your partner about increasing intimacy without placing blame and pointing fingers, do so. If you have trouble seeing where you play a part in the intimacy of your marriage, you might try talking it over with your partner and a mediator or life coach. Often, a third party can be a great facilitator to finding new and creative ways to move beyond your seeming limitations and fears.

Once you have decided to take some action to increase the intimacy in your marriage, there are some simple ways to do this. First, begin by remembering the aspects of your partner that you appreciate and spend time on these things. If you love the creative mind of your partner, try enrolling in a class where you can both express your creative side. Allow yourselves to bond in this new way.

If you love the intelligence or quick wit of your partner, try going to new entertainment sources rather than the same old places. Visit theatres and art film houses that offer exciting and mentally stimulating fare. You will engender opportunities for great conversation and new feelings of admiration in one another afterward.

For increased sexual intimacy, try returning your lovemaking to a spiritual level. Think about the first time you made love after you told each other you loved one another. Do you remember the spiritual intensity of that experience? Focus on recreating that by creating a loving and romantic atmosphere before lovemaking. Also try techniques that emphasize spirituality in lovemaking, such as tantric breathing exercises.

With a little bit of effort, you can increase intimacy in your marriage and start a new season of growth in your own life.






--------------
Intimacy is very important in marriage. Both of you should enjoy each other and maintain your intimacy. Take time for each other and explore new things together.

Source