Save Marriage - Managing Individual Differences to Save a Marriage From Divorce

As humans, we are bound to have differences either in opinion, utterance, or actions. We view issues from different perspectives as a result of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These individual differences may lead our marriage into divorce if not properly managed.

The menace of individual differences in marriage may come in the following forms:

1) The stubborn adherence to one's own opinion or position on the part of one or both partners on a particular issue. This will lead to defending this position or opinion, prevailing on other to accept it or holding it against them, thereby carrying out discussion in a contentious manner in order to gain upper hand.

2) Dissension: This is when a dispute becomes severe and harsh, when the only concern of each partner in the marriage is getting better than the other. There is no concern for finding out the truth or clarifying what is right.

To therefore guide couples against these aforementioned menace and lead them towards the path of effectively managing individual opinion differences in marriage, the following must be first properly understood:

- If differences of opinion operates in a healthy framework, it would enrich each partner and stimulate intellectual development. It would help to expand perspectives and help look at problems and issues in their wider and deeper ramifications and with greater precision and thoroughness.

- If intentions are sincere, differences of opinion could bring about greater awareness of the various possible aspects and interpretations of issues.

On understanding this, couples should take advantage of their opinion differences instead of allowing it to split their marriage. To actualize this, each partner must have the following ethics:

PATIENCE Patience in relating with others is something that is difficult. However, it cannot be compromised if couples must stay together. There is need for patience in convincing the other partner about a particular view point, patience at the face of provocation from one's partner, patience on the part of a partner in carrying out a responsibility allotted by the marriage bond, patience in calling others to action.

Patience with oneself is also very important. Each partner must know his/her self in matter of strength and weaknesses and learn how to overcome the weaknesses. This will help not to stick to extreme positions where there are easier options so as to carry the other partner along.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Love comes in different forms such as the romantic love, Hollywood-style love etc. The type of love needed in this case is the unconditional love. It is the type of love that holds the relationship when the romantic, Hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults and makes mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner's faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults, not perfect and make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. That's called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections.






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For me acceptance and understanding are the key to mend individual differences. Saving a marriage is a difficult situation in life but I guess if we try to accept each others differences it could work out.

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How to Increase Intimacy in Your Marriage

There is a common misconception about intimacy. Most people hear the word intimacy and think of sex. And while sexual intimacy is certainly a form of closeness and expression in a marriage, it is not all there is to intimacy. Becoming closer to the one you love is a lifelong process. Just as you grow and change over a lifetime, so does your spouse. Because of this, your intimacy will change and grow as well if you put the time and effort into caring for it on a daily basis.

Intimacy involves at its core a great deal of trust. You must have faith that your partner values the deepest parts of you in order to share them. So if you are having a real problem with intimacy, you may want to examine your ideas about trust and any obstacles that stand in the way of trust in your marriage. Some people bring an innate fear of intimacy into the marriage and find it difficult to move past this fear and continue to grow with the relationship. This is a good time to seek some professional counselling to move beyond this block.

If you find that your spouse is the one with a fear of intimacy, encourage them to seek professional help as they discover the roots of this issue and the positive steps they can take to affirm trust in your relationship. It is important not to blame a lack of intimacy on any one person. You may be tempted to place blame on your partner for a lack of sexual intimacy or a lack of emotional intimacy. Understand, however, that all human beings need intimacy with other human beings. So if your spouse is having trouble establishing that intimacy, it is not due to stubbornness or even conscious choice in some cases, but rather to unconscious patterns and fears.

If you can have an open discussion with your partner about increasing intimacy without placing blame and pointing fingers, do so. If you have trouble seeing where you play a part in the intimacy of your marriage, you might try talking it over with your partner and a mediator or life coach. Often, a third party can be a great facilitator to finding new and creative ways to move beyond your seeming limitations and fears.

Once you have decided to take some action to increase the intimacy in your marriage, there are some simple ways to do this. First, begin by remembering the aspects of your partner that you appreciate and spend time on these things. If you love the creative mind of your partner, try enrolling in a class where you can both express your creative side. Allow yourselves to bond in this new way.

If you love the intelligence or quick wit of your partner, try going to new entertainment sources rather than the same old places. Visit theatres and art film houses that offer exciting and mentally stimulating fare. You will engender opportunities for great conversation and new feelings of admiration in one another afterward.

For increased sexual intimacy, try returning your lovemaking to a spiritual level. Think about the first time you made love after you told each other you loved one another. Do you remember the spiritual intensity of that experience? Focus on recreating that by creating a loving and romantic atmosphere before lovemaking. Also try techniques that emphasize spirituality in lovemaking, such as tantric breathing exercises.

With a little bit of effort, you can increase intimacy in your marriage and start a new season of growth in your own life.






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Intimacy is very important in marriage. Both of you should enjoy each other and maintain your intimacy. Take time for each other and explore new things together.

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