Marriage is a blessing from God

I heard the mass today and it really inspired me be responsible and strive hard to have a happy and complete family. Marriage is a sacred sacrament. Husband and wife took a vow not only to each other but also to God. Death can only separate them and no other thing or person can interfere and destroy their marriage. Divorce maybe rightful in human law but not in the law of God. God made the law in marriage and no once should reverse it or break it. You're making a sin by having divorce because it is God's law, it's sacred and you made vows with God. Every relationship encounter difficulties and hard times, if there's a problem, talk about it. Divorce is not a solution, you're just running away from the problem and it will get worse, believe me, especially on the kids. Hold on to your vows, accept one another wholeheartedly because you'll have each other till the end. Learn to forgive. Bring your pride down, it won't help in your relationship. Communication is the key, though it's tiring at work try to have a little talk at dinner or before going to sleep. Never neglect each others needs, have a date once in a while to rekindle the love you had. Bond with your family, stay at home with them, watch dvd, go to mall together or hear mass every sunday, it makes a big difference. Set your family and marriage on top of your priority lists. At the end of the day, your family is the most important thing in your life, through ups and downs they'll be the ones you can lean on and that can give you your true happiness.

Put God in the center of your relationship. Nothing is impossible to God, so always believe in Him. Lift everything to him, have faith. Make your relationship work no matter what. Many trials are coming ahead of you so be strong and be ready. Love one another and you will prosper. God bless everyone.

Tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage

Tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage. The fact of life is that marriage is not easy. Most marriages have lots of rough spots. These rough spots can cause one of two things to happen. They can either make the marriage stronger, or they can ruin it. Which it is for you, is up to you.

What your rough spots are will vary. For some it is money, for others cheating or insecurity, for others a death, or birth, etc. So, it would be wise to prepare yourself for rough spots of all varieties as the old adage goes, "It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared."

The following are some tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage with a stronger relationship rather than one that is ruined:

Don't worry, be happy. The person who sits and waits for something bad to happen will surely find it. You should not try and fix something that is not broken. The fact of the matter is that worrying does more damage than good. So, instead of wasting time and energy worrying, you should look at hope, and find solutions. Worry gets you no where, and worse, it puts up road blocks for when you try to go somewhere.

Patience is a virtue. Patience is one of the smartest attributes you can have if you are worried about going through tough times in your marriage. It is sort of like a cure all. If you can be patient and not let stress sway you into losing perspective. Being patient enough to get through the hard times without being overly wound or stressed will help you to keep adversity from damaging your relationship. Part of patience is seeing that hard times are not someone's fault but part of life, and if you are patient you will know that blame and criticism of your spouse will get you no where but in a broken marriage. Sarcasm is the like the opposite of patience, so do not let sarcasm take over your life.

Be quick to forgive. Sometimes hard times bring out the worst in us, and we can start to hate, blame, and hurt the people we profess to love. You have to recognize that your upset feelings are like a disease that can infect your relationship if you let it. If you do not take necessary precautions, you will let resentment, frustration and hate take the place that love, kindness, and understanding should be. So, forgive mistakes, be open armed and ready to accept people despite their imperfections, you have them too. You make mistakes and need forgiveness occasionally as well, so don't be selfish with your forgiveness, give openly.

Laugh at yourself. Believe it or not if you can find humor, even if it is just irony, when hard times fall, your relationship will be much stronger. Do your best to find humor in the challenge you are facing. If you can do this, you can survive it. If you learn to laugh at the situation, you will learn to have hope for something better.

Join forces. When something bad happens you should not seclude yourself, rather you should join forces. You and your spouse are a team, and what better time to stand together than against adversity? If you commit to one another that even during the hard times you will stick with each other, and if you remind one another of your promise to endure you will likely find that your relationship can withstand a lot more, and you will become closer, stronger, and more united because of the experiences. It is common to brood, withdraw from each other, etc. Instead you should practice turning to each other instead of away when crisis hits.

The following is a simple list of things that you should remember during hard times in your marriage if you want it to work.

   1. Don't blame each other.

   2. Be slow to judge and quick to forgive.

   3. Remind yourself that the tough times won't last forever and that there is a rainbow after the rain.

   4. Don't have a negative attitude, it gets you no where.

   5. Ask for help from family and friends when possible.

   6. Remember your love and commitment to each other and remind each other of it often.

   7. Exercise and getting plenty of sleep so you are not as stressed.





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All marriages undergo different trials, just be strong and let love fix everything. Understanding is a big factor. Remember, that it's not just about yourself you have to consider your partner and most of all your kids.

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A heart-broken story

Last monday (July 5), my friend texted me late at night which contains a very sad news, our friend, May's husband, Mark, died that afternoon. It really made me sad because they got married April 2010 and have a premature baby who spent almost 2 months in the hospital. We visited May yesterday and as usual she still had the strong personality in her like nothing happened with her husband, maybe the situation didn't sink in her mind as of the moment. She told us what happen and it really break our hearts. On the hospital looking at their daughter, May told Mark that their baby is fighting to live and that Mark should make his self healthy for their child because he look so sick. Mark told May that he was giving his strength to their baby. When their baby got out of the hospital that was the time her husband feel sick and the saddest part is that he never had the moment to carry, embrace and take good care of his daughter due to the sensitive health condition of his daughter. The only thing he did ONCE was to hold his baby's feet and from his room he would just look at their daughter being carried by May on the other room. May's father told her that maybe Mark saved them from death because she was pre-eclamsia when giving birth to Yohan and never thought she would live and now Yohan is healthy and recovering her appetite. Maybe his mission is ended there. He died with severe pneumonia.

Life is so mysterious. We never know what will happen minute or hours later, tomorrow or next month. Maybe we should learn to live our life as if it was our last. God planned everything even we were not yet conceived. Just be thankful for every morning we wake up because He still give us the opportunity to enjoy life and do our mission in this earth.

Healthy Ways to Say I Love You

Keeping Your Relationship Strong & Vibrant

Learn how to say "I love you" with more than words. These 15 relationship tips will keep your partner happy & your love alive. Good practice even if you're still waiting!

Finding practical, meaningful ways to say "I love you" can be challenging – especially when your actions speak louder than words. Showing love regularly is a worthwhile habit since healthy relationships reduce stress, improve perspective, and boost the immune system. If you learn how to say I love you, you'll benefit from a sweeter relationship.

These relationship tips aren't just for lovers - they affect relationships with friends, siblings, parents, and even mothers-in-law! If you're still waiting for the love of your life, these healthy ways to say I love you will help you get off on the right foot when the time is right.

15 healthy ways to say I love you:

   1. Flow with the ups and downs. Sometimes you’re in a lousy mood, hurt, stressed, or need to be alone; the same goes with your partner. Every relationship has ups and downs. As long as there's no physical or emotional abuse, learn to ride the valley to the next peak. That's a huge way to say "I love you": trust in your relationship and have faith that the rocky or even boring times will pass.
   2. Forgive. Forget. Don't bring the past into your current discussions or problems. Say I love you by letting go of past mistakes and disappointments.
   3. Accept your partner's beliefs about relationships. You may have a different or even conflicting view about the way relationships "should" work. Talk about your different expectations and find common ground.
   4. Speak up for your needs. Forget the "If you loved me, you'd know," game or expect your partner to read your mind. If you don’t state your needs, you can't get angry or frustrated at your partner for not meeting them. Say I love you by being open and honest.
   5. Don't be afraid to disagree. Having different perspectives won't ruin your relationship, but abuse, name-calling, and criticism will. Learn how to accept that your partner disagrees with you and still say "I love you."
   6. Ask questions. Maybe you don't understand why your partner usually forgets your birthday or leaves dirty socks everywhere but in the laundry hamper. Ask why. Getting to the root of the behavior provides more insight than complaining about it. Say I love you by being curious!
   7. Face problems as they arise. Don't ignore problems or let your resentment simmer. Be honest about how you feel, and try to understand your partner's motivations.
   8. Listen carefully. Saying "I love you" involves truly listening to your partner's concerns – without judging them. Often we just need someone to hear us, and to try to see things from our perspective.
   9. Have fun together! Figure out what makes you laugh and incorporate those movies, jokes, or activities into your life regularly. Respect that your sense of humor may be different than your partner's.
  10. Work hard to stay close. When you're married or committed for the long term, you may drift apart especially when children, the mundane routine, or financial struggles arise. Learning how to say "I love you" no matter how difficult life is will keep your relationship strong.
  11. Update your dreams regularly and keep your partner involved. When you include your partner, you're clearly saying "I love you."
  12. Be the first to apologize. The more you both try to smooth the bumps, the happier you'll both be. Say I love you by being willing to make up, forgive, and forget.
  13. Nurture your self-respect & self-esteem. Be someone you like and respect. Find meaningful work, get involved in the community or church, and pursue professional and personal growth. Explore your interests and passions, and share your life with your partner.
  14. Cooperate. Don't expect your partner to take the full load – whether it's with the kids, housecleaning, relating to relatives, earning money, or investing. Say I love you by going out of your comfort zone!
  15. Examine bad relationships. Why do you keep choosing the wrong partner or end up in addictive relationships? Do you make the same mistakes repeatedly? Knowing how to say "I love you" may not effective if you're in the wrong relationship.

Since actions speak louder than words, you can say "I love you" with most of your behaviors at home -- and in public!




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They say action speaks louder than words, it's so true. But sometimes expressing your love through words makes you feel loved and confident that your loved one really appreciates and loves you. Men are not vocal in expressing what they feel, maybe girls should made them realize and get used to in saying what they really feel.

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Tips For Maintaining A Happy Marriage

1. To disagree Lovingly
This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non-accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger pointing, instead channel your negative energy to constructive problem solving.

2. Define your Roles and Responsibilities early on
With double incomes the norm in modern families, the line between 'his' and 'her' role is thus blurred, and misunderstandings can arise as to who is supposed to do what. So prioritise your tasks base on your needs and abilities. Generally, the person who can get the job done more efficiently takes on the task. Be fair and don't overload one spouse.

3. Think the Best of your partner
A healthy dose of give and take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner, have faith that he or she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions. When a husband chooses to protect and affirm his wife, she will reciprocate by becoming his faithful friend. This is the secret to great marital bliss and fulfilment, when two stand united and committed as one.

4. Be aware of Gender differences
Blame it on our evolution as man and woman. We are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles to each other. Couples need to acknowledge these differences and accept them instead of trying to change each other at the core.

5. Schedule exclusive You and Me time
Husband and wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year. One couple say they plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids. Besides spending quality time together, they review their married life over the last 12 months, and strategise for the upcoming year as a couple. To them, marriage is a long term investment which needs consistent, conscious and careful planning.

6. Take an interest in your partner's Well Being
Many times, we miss the forest for the trees in our relationships. Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other's emotional health as it will fortify the physical well being and enhance the marriage.

7. Know yourself Better
If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him or her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.

8. Count to 10 before you Lash out in Anger
Very often, it is not what your say that will make your partner angry, it is how you say it. The closer the relationship you have with someone, the more difficult it is to be objective in hearing your partner's view, especially when it is communicated negatively. So whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.

9. Don't go to bed Angry with each other
Anger and ill feeling have a way of festering over time. It is always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as possible, that is, after both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem solving stage.




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Having problems in a relationship because of your differences are most couples going through. Don't give up. Try to be calm and try to fix things as early as you can. Try to understand each others differences and accept one another.

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Three simple tips to save your marriage

Those traveling the road of marriage can have some difficulties at times. It can take an enormous amount of work for your marriage to thrive, and even then sometimes it can fail. Our world today is full of split up couples, broken marriages, and divorce as a result of ill managed relationships and marriages. To keep this from happening in your marriage, take the steps necessary for saving your marriage.

Three simple tips to save your marriage

Look and listen
Talk
Do

Look at those around you in your family. Be watchful with both your eyes and ear of signs of trouble. Do you sense tension between you and your spouse? Make a list the problems you believe exist in your marriage. This will help you gain a prospective of the real problems rather than an all encompassing everything is wrong. The next step is to come up with solutions to your problems. Yes, that is correct you should have more than one solution possibility for each problem.

Prepare to have a conversation with you spouse about the problems and solutions in a calm manner. Be prepared for how the conversation will go and what the reactions might be. Keeping your cool will help keep the conversation going in a positive direction. With that settled you can ask your partner in a pleasant manner if they would have a conversation about something very important.

This conversation should include asking for your partners input as well as sharing your thoughts. Blame should not be a part of the conversation.

Together you can identify solutions to the problems. Be open to consider any solutions your partners shares along with your own solutions. The end result should be solutions you both take ownership of and agree together by compromise.
The last tip is to do. After the talking is done, it is time to put the action behind the solutions. Both of you must follow through on your plan by the necessary actions. This should be done with sincerity. Help each other through the process. If follow through with the actions become a problem, look for relook at the situations for a better more realistic solution. But first make sure everything has been done to try to follow the established plan. Do not give up too quickly or easily. Most things can be accomplished with good attitude and a little motivation.




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Saving your marriage is a responsiblity for both couple. It has to be given time, courage, willingness, trust and love.

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My married life

I've been married for about 1 year and 10 months, long, long way to go. My husband is out of the country so we just spent 2 months and 3 weeks together as a married couple. That's really hell and it really made us so depressed because we got little time to enjoy our honeymoon stage and life together as husband and wife. They say that your first year is the adjustment stage and yet we haven't been to that because it's different when you're on the same house that's the time to get to know each other better. I wish that we could spent our time together now, I wish we could be together for us to experience the beauty of marriage.

Though we're apart, misunderstandings and quarrels are still part of our relationship and it's so hard to fix things up because we are not together. Pride should be left out because we wanted to make our relationship work. On those trouble times, I feel like dying. It kills me to think that we have problem and we got no time to talk it over because he have to go to work and we have different time zone but we make sure that we talk about it but for me I want to settle it on the same moment but it's impossible I have to wait and make my self suffer for some time. It would be easier to mend our problems if we were together but still I'm just thinking that it's God's way of making us stronger and tougher. We've gone through so much pain, heartaches, stress, depression, anxieties and happy moments even we're apart. God has He's own plans and I'm lifting everything to him.

We got long way to go and I'm hoping that soon we'll have each other again and have a wonderful life together.

A Reminder of Love - Renewing Marriage Vows

Renewing marriage vows is one of the most loving, romantic and memorable thing a couple can do for each other. The process of going through a wedding to rekindle the moment you offered your whole being to one another is heart warming and reinforces your devotion to each other. It's a good way to celebrate your 10th or even 20th wedding anniversary. It is especially memorable if you are doing it to celebrate your 50th year. You can also do that if you never got wedded in church before or if your first ceremony was not really what you would consider your dream one.

If, due to the fact that you were just starting out your careers, you had a simple ceremony, now that you're financially stable, you can opt to renewing marriage vows in a grand and ornate manner, an occasion that both of you deserves. Another reason for renewing marriage vows as a way to strengthen your union after surviving tough times and as a symbol to others that you are still going strong together. However, both parties must be into this so its meaning is not lost-it won't work if one of you is not up to it. Also, renewing marriage vows is not a show of one-up-man-ship.

Marriage is a sacred vow and should not be taken lightly just because you want to make others jealous or you want to be the center of attention. The ceremony can be an intimate and solemn yet candid occasion. There are somewhat fewer rules to follow, unlike in your first wedding. This occasion's focus is solely on what you have to say to each other as you renew your love for one another. By all means have your children and close friends attend the renewing marriage vows ceremony to make it a truly close and personal celebration. Organize renewing marriage vows, as you would any other big event.

Make a plan of the event, much like you did in your first wedding. You don't have to go as far as hiring a wedding planner but don't hesitate to get assistance if needed. Plan what you want on that day including the budget, the location, the theme, and even where the second reception will be held. While there may be some stress, it can be lessened if the rest of your family pitches in, especially your children. As this is your own private little party you can really customize it according to your liking as long as the important stuff are there.

This is means that you can do without having any groomsmen and bridesmaid and since you are already legally married having a clergy or a judge to officiate your ceremony can be optional. And needless to say bachelor or bachelorette parties are out although you may hold get together parties. And of course you don't solicit for gifts. Older couples, especially those that have been together 50 years or more can be extravagant in renewing marriage vows because if you've been together 50 years that truly deserves a celebration. In renewing marriage vows, just be sure it's from the heart-the more sincere and heartfelt it is, the more unforgettable it will be for everyone.

This is the time to show your spouse and the people around you how much you genuinely love and cherish your partner, so make the most out of it. Shout to the world how great you life is by having a great partner.




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Love in any relationship is  very important and it's always better to renew it by giving each other more time to bond together and discover different things on each other. This may help to save your relationship.

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Save Marriage - Managing Individual Differences to Save a Marriage From Divorce

As humans, we are bound to have differences either in opinion, utterance, or actions. We view issues from different perspectives as a result of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These individual differences may lead our marriage into divorce if not properly managed.

The menace of individual differences in marriage may come in the following forms:

1) The stubborn adherence to one's own opinion or position on the part of one or both partners on a particular issue. This will lead to defending this position or opinion, prevailing on other to accept it or holding it against them, thereby carrying out discussion in a contentious manner in order to gain upper hand.

2) Dissension: This is when a dispute becomes severe and harsh, when the only concern of each partner in the marriage is getting better than the other. There is no concern for finding out the truth or clarifying what is right.

To therefore guide couples against these aforementioned menace and lead them towards the path of effectively managing individual opinion differences in marriage, the following must be first properly understood:

- If differences of opinion operates in a healthy framework, it would enrich each partner and stimulate intellectual development. It would help to expand perspectives and help look at problems and issues in their wider and deeper ramifications and with greater precision and thoroughness.

- If intentions are sincere, differences of opinion could bring about greater awareness of the various possible aspects and interpretations of issues.

On understanding this, couples should take advantage of their opinion differences instead of allowing it to split their marriage. To actualize this, each partner must have the following ethics:

PATIENCE Patience in relating with others is something that is difficult. However, it cannot be compromised if couples must stay together. There is need for patience in convincing the other partner about a particular view point, patience at the face of provocation from one's partner, patience on the part of a partner in carrying out a responsibility allotted by the marriage bond, patience in calling others to action.

Patience with oneself is also very important. Each partner must know his/her self in matter of strength and weaknesses and learn how to overcome the weaknesses. This will help not to stick to extreme positions where there are easier options so as to carry the other partner along.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Love comes in different forms such as the romantic love, Hollywood-style love etc. The type of love needed in this case is the unconditional love. It is the type of love that holds the relationship when the romantic, Hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults and makes mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner's faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults, not perfect and make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. That's called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections.






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For me acceptance and understanding are the key to mend individual differences. Saving a marriage is a difficult situation in life but I guess if we try to accept each others differences it could work out.

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How to Increase Intimacy in Your Marriage

There is a common misconception about intimacy. Most people hear the word intimacy and think of sex. And while sexual intimacy is certainly a form of closeness and expression in a marriage, it is not all there is to intimacy. Becoming closer to the one you love is a lifelong process. Just as you grow and change over a lifetime, so does your spouse. Because of this, your intimacy will change and grow as well if you put the time and effort into caring for it on a daily basis.

Intimacy involves at its core a great deal of trust. You must have faith that your partner values the deepest parts of you in order to share them. So if you are having a real problem with intimacy, you may want to examine your ideas about trust and any obstacles that stand in the way of trust in your marriage. Some people bring an innate fear of intimacy into the marriage and find it difficult to move past this fear and continue to grow with the relationship. This is a good time to seek some professional counselling to move beyond this block.

If you find that your spouse is the one with a fear of intimacy, encourage them to seek professional help as they discover the roots of this issue and the positive steps they can take to affirm trust in your relationship. It is important not to blame a lack of intimacy on any one person. You may be tempted to place blame on your partner for a lack of sexual intimacy or a lack of emotional intimacy. Understand, however, that all human beings need intimacy with other human beings. So if your spouse is having trouble establishing that intimacy, it is not due to stubbornness or even conscious choice in some cases, but rather to unconscious patterns and fears.

If you can have an open discussion with your partner about increasing intimacy without placing blame and pointing fingers, do so. If you have trouble seeing where you play a part in the intimacy of your marriage, you might try talking it over with your partner and a mediator or life coach. Often, a third party can be a great facilitator to finding new and creative ways to move beyond your seeming limitations and fears.

Once you have decided to take some action to increase the intimacy in your marriage, there are some simple ways to do this. First, begin by remembering the aspects of your partner that you appreciate and spend time on these things. If you love the creative mind of your partner, try enrolling in a class where you can both express your creative side. Allow yourselves to bond in this new way.

If you love the intelligence or quick wit of your partner, try going to new entertainment sources rather than the same old places. Visit theatres and art film houses that offer exciting and mentally stimulating fare. You will engender opportunities for great conversation and new feelings of admiration in one another afterward.

For increased sexual intimacy, try returning your lovemaking to a spiritual level. Think about the first time you made love after you told each other you loved one another. Do you remember the spiritual intensity of that experience? Focus on recreating that by creating a loving and romantic atmosphere before lovemaking. Also try techniques that emphasize spirituality in lovemaking, such as tantric breathing exercises.

With a little bit of effort, you can increase intimacy in your marriage and start a new season of growth in your own life.






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Intimacy is very important in marriage. Both of you should enjoy each other and maintain your intimacy. Take time for each other and explore new things together.

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10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

Sometimes as you are standing at the sink in the kitchen doing the dishes again, you just can't help but notice how nice your neighbor's patio is. You peek out back, to the space where your own patio could be, one day, with that outdoor couch set and the huge umbrella and lots of tropical trees strategically placed. But alas, you see grass, well sort of grass, maybe more mud than grass. And then it begins- you begin to notice the nicks in the walls from little matchbox cars, maybe a crayon or two going down the hallway, the dirty laundry pile which appears to be growing before your eyes...and you start to wonder, "Really, this is it?"

You see it didn't start out this way. You bought the house after an exhaustive search. You were excited and energized. You picked out paint colors together. You searched and found furniture for 'the perfect' spot. You happily hung pictures of new collages and arranged the pantry and bought the linens. You were busy creating a home. Eventually however, the paints are long put away, and the walls start to show their wear.

It seems to me, marriage is a lot like this house we make a home. We begin with excitement and a great spirit of hope for our future. We work feverishly to begin a life together. Eventually things settle in, and life happens. It seems to me this is when a perfectly good marriage begins to show its wear. I now long for the twenties, when I went to a lot of weddings, or the early thirties when I went to a lot of Christenings. The late thirties seem to involve a lot of divorce. So here is a bit of my perspective, which I wish that some of these same people would consider before they spend the rest of their life fighting over their children:

1. Get Over Yourself!: "I have a right to be happy"....No, You don't. Happiness is earned, and it has a lot to do with how hard you are willing to work for it.

2. Take Time: Do you go to the gym? Do you play an intramural sport? Do you go to classes to further your career? These are things you are doing to work on something. It's a concerted effort. Try giving your marriage a concerted effort. Guys- remember when you courted your wife? You worked on it. Now you need to work on it again.

3. Be Interested: When was the last time you showed interest in what your spouse does in their work life, spare time or home life?

4. Learn Something New Together: Discovering new territories of your relationship require you to change your perspective. Take a class together- online bible study, online cooking class, couples dancing class, online massage??? Figure it out.

5. Remember Why You Got Married: Stop fighting and remember back to why you got together in the first place. Look at old pictures and old journals. There was a reason you fell in love, find it.

6. Do Special Things for Each Other: Do one of the chores from your spouses list. Laundry is my domain, and I came home last night to about 6 loads folded and put away. It showed me that my husband truly loves me/has pity for me when I really need it.

7. Make Your Marriage a Priority: Sundays are my husbands only day off work, so I protect it like a Momma Bear. It's sacrosanct. I make no plans or commitments for the family. It's strictly our day as a family together. Treat your marriage like that.

8. Schedule Alone Time: Go away alone together once a year. If you can't afford it, have family or friends take your children for the night, and make your home a little escape for the night with lots of candles and great takeout- but no chores allowed.

9. Have Lots of Sex: Dr. Oz thinks our country is in a sex crisis cause we aren't having enough of it. Girls remember, sometimes sex is like running- you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it, then you do it, and you are like "Wow, why don't I do that more often?" Get creative, and do it, a lot of it.

10. Be Friends: Remember when you first started dating and were first married? Your spouse should be your best friend. He should be the first person you want to call when you have good news. If he's not, then you have a warning sign that attention is required!






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Saving your marriage is a big responsibility. Both of you should understand each other's opinion, have a date maybe once a week so you can talk about your family and relationship.

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Relationships : Stop Your Divorce Save Your Marriage - Don't Give Up

(SkyNewswire.com)--- Mending a relationship is not impossible. You just need to use a little common sense. But during times like this, most often our emotions take over and our minds take a back seat. Don't let that happen. Unless you are in control, your emotions can literally ruin everything for you.

#1 Stay calm
That is the very first step. Be composed and unruffled. Say to yourself that this marriage is going to work no matter what. You are going to save your marriage at all costs, and you are going to do that with your head, not your heart. You are not going to let your emotions take over. On the other hand, you're going to think and methodically act to reverse the situation. Many people just break down and cry without ever doing anything constructive. Don't be like them. You are going to act mature and ensure that this marriage is going to work for you, come what may. In case your partner likes to see you break down emotionally, they'll be in for a surprise this time.

#2 Get your act together
Focus on yourself for sometime. Go shopping. Get some nice clothes. Start to look attractive. When your partner sees you the next time, they should be shocked. In fact they should want you desperately. There is a lot of power in looking good. Use that to your advantage. You did when you were dating, right?! The chemistry worked back then. You just forgot all about it. It is time once again to start looking great. Make your partner desire you all over again. An outward change is a reflection of a change happening deep inside. Let them know that something has changed on the inside, and you need to do it in a noticeable but attractive way.

#3 Analyze
Take stock of the situation. Without any kind of bias, try to objectively see what really went wrong. If you need to take some time off and go some place, do it if that would help. List the things that you or your partner did wrong that contributed to the problem. Beside each of those points, write down what the right action should have been, so that you can follow that when it happens again. When you get back together again, these situations might arise once again. But since you have an idea about the right kind of response, you will be able to handle it positively.

#4 Establish contact
Once you have changed yourself and analyzed the problem, its time to talk, especially if you've not been seeing each other for a while. But please don't talk about the problem or about setting things right. This is just going to be a casual talk. It is dating time once again. You're just allowing them to set eyes on you once again.

#5 Exude confidence
Instead of begging and pleading them to come back, act confident and stay aloof for a while. Don't be snobbish or vengeful; just be confident and friendly. You'd be surprised to see that they want to be with you more than ever before.

Follow these steps methodically and you can have your partner back for keeps. I know that you would do anything to get them back. I am just helping you do it the right way. There is more help on the next page, in the form of a video and some quick tips to start the recovery process right away. Save Your Marriage right now!





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Effort to save your marriage is a big factor. Every problem can be solved, just talk about it and try to settle it as early as you can. You can save your marriage, there's no other time but now.

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52 Fantastic Dates For Fearless Married Couples

You mean we still have to date? Couples looking to renew their relationships ask this question all of the time. The answer is are sounding YES!!! It's the best way to ward off infidelity and alack of satisfaction with your relationship.

Think about it. Wasn't that the most interesting time in your relationship? You and your spouse were just getting to know one another and everything was fresh and new.

If you want to keep the spark in your marriage, sometimes you have to act as though you're still dating. No kids, no bills, no work. Nothing to distract you from getting to know each other a little better.

Here are 52 ideas for great dates. One for each week of the year. I'm not saying that's how often you should go out. I'm just providing some fuel for your fire.

And notice-- not once do I mention movies. No matter how fun they are, it's time to broaden your scope. From daring to romantic, here they are:

1. Visit a Safari park
2. Be tourists again, and tour your local historic site.
3. Go to the museum
4. Take in a play
5. Ride bikes in the park and have a picnic
6. Go roller skating/blading
7. Try your hand at bowling
8. Check out the planetarium
9. Take a cooking class together
10. Swim at the beach or lake
11. Go to an amusement park
12. Sing karaoke
13. Play pool
14. Get salsa lessons-- or try the tango
15. Fly a kite
16. Go rock climbing-- indoors or out
17. Hear some cool jazz
18. Try a poetry slam
19. Go line dancing
20. Try some tapas
21. See an opera
22. Check out a baseball game
23. Go to a book signing
24. Become putt-putt golf pros
25. Drive a race car
26. Play video games at an arcade
27. Walk along the pier
28. Ride in a glider
29. Run a race
30. Go to a hockey game
31. Eat at a Brazilian steakhouse
32. Solve clues at a mystery dinner theatre
33. Laugh at a comedy club
34. Embark on a dinner cruise
35. Make your personalized teddy bears
36. Find fish fascinating at the aquarium
37. Take a hike
38. Grab a cup of coffee and a decadent treat
39. Check out a concert under the stars
40. Feed each other fondue
41. Take a hot air balloon ride
42. Visit a vineyard
43. Treat yourself to the spa
44. Curl up next to a fire and read to each other
45. Be pampered at a bed & breakfast
46. Sit for a portrait
47. Go skiing
48. Ride in a helicopter
49. Catch the carnival while it's in town
50. Go antiquing (or junkin' depending upon your perspective)
51. Watch 'em ride at the rodeo
52. Make memories in an art/photography class





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If you're still clueless what to do with your husband and wife this Valentines day, now you can choose on the above choices and you'll definitely have a wonderful date.

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An inspiring story

I just want to share this short inspiring story. I hope it will touch your hearts and give more attention to your relationship with your husband and wife.

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

7 Innovative Ways to Save Your Marriage

Are you in a tough spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches, but that doesn't mean that you need to give up when the going gets tough. For many couples, they can actually work through their problems to create a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are just a few tips for getting started on the right foot.

Listen

There's nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn't take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a good partner (on either end), you need to be able to remain quiet and talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be quiet when they are speaking and try to really listen to what they are saying.

Understand

But listening only goes so far when you're trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not really understand where they are coming from, you might be creating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you want to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it's important that you make sure that you understand where they are at and how you might be able to help.

A positive attitude

Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you're trying to work through problems and issues, you will want to make sure that you're going into it with a positive attitude. You don't need to be sugary sweet, but you should start to look at your troubles as learning lessons rather than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.

Be present

When a partner isn't fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through tough times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote certain times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.

Stay calm

While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to remember that being calm is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk - it automatically lowers your blood pressure and your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything - this will help you to be clear and calm as you speak. Many people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, and that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.

Make plans

One of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start creating long term plans with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will create the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled upon - somehow. Try to make plans for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will create a little less pressure because the future isn't so vague and unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.

Take time away

While you don't have to become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is one of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you allow yourself to have a new perspective on the events that are happening. And this can allow you to see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it's just a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become easier to resolve.

Your marriage isn't failed until you've tried everything to save it. Truth is, You can save your relationship and soften the hardest of hearts of your lover! This system by Cucan Pemo, a best selling author and author of several books, could work over and over again for the broken hearts. There are no mumbo jumbo, no complicated techniques. Just simple instructions that product RESULTS - sometimes within hours, to help you save your relationship or marriage. Within minutes, you could see the beginning of the end of your most difficult relationship problem! Get this amazing package today!





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Trying to fix your marriage is the best thing you can do whenever you are going through trials. Trying does not make any harm. Put that pride down and do what you have to do to save your marriage.

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How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a way, like starting a business you’ve always wanted to own or a university program you’ve always wanted to enter.

It may be relatively easy to begin but it is almost guaranteed to be very challenging to stay with it for the long-term and make it a success.

Which one do you think is harder? Being successful in your marriage? In your education? Or in your career?

They are all challenging to achieve for most of us. Yet they are also goals that most of us pursue or dream about. Not everybody wants to get married but most adults want to have some form of love relationship that feels good and is right for them. And the topics in this article apply to all intimate and significant relationships, not just marriages.

Indeed the drive to form and maintain a successful love relationship seems to be consistently strong in most adults. And I have observed this repeatedly in my work as individual and couples therapist.

At the same time our 50 % + divorce rate clearly communicates the message that making our love relationship last and flourish is difficult.

If we add to the high occurrences of divorce, the numerous unhappy marriages out there in which the partners feel hopelessly stuck my point becomes even more clear.

In my work as a mental health clinician I have seen marital and relationship discord often. And as a husband in an 11-year marriage I have felt the severe pains of marital crisis.

Along the way I have formed some wisdom on ways to understand, preserve, and improve your marriage. I teach these in a workshop called “All About Love" and will present them in this article. Also you can log onto my website at http://www.loveyoursoul.com for additional information.

Please keep in mind that most of the advice I am providing below apply and are suggested to both you and your partner even if I do not always mention him or her. However in the event that your significant other is not willing to follow this advice, I suggest that you do them on your own and invite your partner to join you as soon as possible.

1. EXPECT RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

All or most marriages run into small and large problems eventually. Some marital problems can be anticipated and avoided. Others cannot be foreseen and must be faced, worked through, and resolved by both partners.

Marital crisis is often very painful to go through. But that does not mean that the marriage should be ended.

Conflicts are often tests of the strength of the love relationship. These are tests that both partners must take and pass before the marriage can graduate to a higher level of mutual satisfaction.

Your marital problem should tell you that there are some things that you have not understood about your partner and vice versa. You may also have lost hope for the relationship and neglected each other’s needs.

There is work to be done by each of you. It will probably be hard work but it is also required work to help resolve your marital conflict and for each of you to grow personally.

2. OBTAIN OUTSIDE HELP

The pain and complexity of marital crisis often handicap the couples’ ability to resolve the problem on their own. It is important that you start receiving couples counseling soon after the crisis begins because the longer you wait the more difficult it will be to save the marriage.

You should treat the crisis as a relationship emergency and act right away to get all the help you need.

It is important that you find a therapist who has the experience, knowledge, and motivation to treat marital problems. Also you and your partner should collaborate in order to choose a therapist who seems right for treating your marriage.

Also there are many organizations that provide relationship services. You can locate them through the internet, the phone book, your church, etc. I like the services advertised on the websites: imagorelationships.com and embracemarriage.com.

In addition you can request help from mature friends or relatives that you trust. Their help can be valuable and may include sharing their own experiences with marital problems, listening to you, or offering other support.

3. UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER

You must work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship. Chances are that even though your partner loves you there are significant and persistent problems he or she sees in you. And your partner may have lost hope for the relationship because of them.

You need to better understand your partner’s perception of these problems. It may be that your partner has a lot of dislike or fear for a certain problem. This fear was probably developed before you knew each other.

The persistence of these problems in you can be severely disappointing your partner even if they do not seem to be major issues to you.

For example your partner may have a large need for your time and affection because he/she was severely deprived of this in childhood and past relationships.

Your partner could be feeling hurt and disappointed in the relationship because this need has been misunderstood or neglected. The solution in this case would be for you (and your spouse) to become aware of the high importance of regular affection for him/her and to make sure the marriage takes care of this need.

If you identify these types of problems and work hard to resolve them, your loved one is likely to feel better about the relationship.

As usual this works both ways and you can ask your partner to do the same for you.

4. PRAY FOR THE MARRIAGE

Spirituality and regular prayer are powerful ways that can help you and your spouse heal your damaged relationship. It is important that you pray for your partner as well as for yourself. You can also ask God to help and heal your marriage.

There is a lot of variety and choice of spiritual practices. I suggest that you find and practice one that fits with your beliefs and feels right for you.

Spiritual strength could give you both the patience, peace of mind, understanding, love, and forgiveness that is often necessary to work your way out of marital trouble.

5. TOLERATE THE EMOTIONAL PAIN

Marital crises often involve severe emotional pain for both partners. You or your spouse may feel very depressed, angry, terrified, confused, hopeless, etc.

Many people end their marriages because they do not want to tolerate these pains or because they believe that the marital problems will never go away.

But the old saying: “No Pain, No Gain" often holds true for marriages and most marital problems can be solved if both partners are willing to put in the necessary work.

Counseling, spiritual practice, and if needed, medication can help relieve some of your emotional pain. But often much of the pain brought on by marital crisis must be tolerated until the marital wounds are healed.

You and your partner need to understand and accept that you are wounded emotionally and that the healing process may be slow and gradual.

Not all marriages or relationships deserve to be saved. And not all emotional pain associated with a relationship should be tolerated to preserve it.

Extreme situations for example when one partner is regularly physically abusing the other and is refusing to seek professional help may require divorce or a break-up to solve the problem.

But emotional injury caused by typical marital conflicts can often be treated and healed. However this process typically involves emotional pain and your ability to tolerate and live with this pain is a valuable skill.

I often tell my clients “Happiness is on the other side of the pain".

In order to better understand and save your marriage you must work your way through and past the body of emotional pain that is blocking your way to marital happiness.

And if you do this work successfully your marriage will arrive at a new, higher grounds, where you can both feel free of pain and full of relationship joy, love, and appreciation of the meaning of marriage.




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There are no perfect marriage but you can definitely make it work. Always exert an effort to make your marriage work. Learn to accept each others differences.
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10 Secrets for a Happy Marriage

How did this happen? You went from holding a bouquet to handling dirty dishes in about 10 seconds flat. Don't despair! It happens to every bride: Reality sets in. In Best Advice on Starting a Happy Marriage, iVillagers share more than 150 secrets for turning your dream life as husband and wife into an everlasting reality. Read the excerpt below for a sneak peek at 10 ways to keep the passion alive and the house in order. (You'll have to buy the book for the other 140 tips on living happily ever after!)

Respect Rules

"If you don't have admiration for each other, things will not work. Don't let anything get in the way of respecting each other. Growing old together means exactly that, so accept that the body will change and love the person for who he is inside."

Touch of Gold

"Despite our hectic schedules, my husband and I always find time for even the slightest gestures -- a smile, a touch, a quick kiss. He always makes a point of touching me if we're in the same room, just to feel close and make a connection."

Agree to Disagree

"Even in the happiest marriages, two people are bound to disagree. On issues that don't affect our daily lives, my husband and I pretty much agree to disagree. We know that we won't always agree, but sometimes it's fun to discuss these things (such as political or religious views). On things that we must agree on, like how to raise our kids, we always discuss them and arrive at a compromise. That way there is no resentment. We just stay calm and always find a way."

Fighting Fair

"Don't be afraid to argue, but do it respectfully. Stick to the issues rather than making personal attacks, and learn to negotiate and compromise. Honest but constructive arguments will actually strengthen your marriage in the long run."

Love Isn't a Battlefield

"Never use sex as a weapon in a dispute with your spouse -- for instance, withholding sex as a way of dealing with an issue that's troubling you. Always keep the lines of communication open. If they shut down, you might want to consider counseling. There are various stages of love in a marriage, so be prepared for your love (and intimacy) to keep shifting over time. Both of you should realize that change is not a reason to look for sexual fulfillment outside of the marriage."

"It's important to discuss having children, not only before you get married but also as an ongoing dialogue after you get married. My husband and I talked about becoming parents while we were still dating. We both knew we wanted children and even agreed on the number. After our third child was born, however, my husband approached me with the idea of not having any more. After a year of thinking about it and discussing it, we came to the conclusion that we were both happy to stop our family at three kids, although we'd originally wanted five. As with everything in marriage, communication is key."

"Financial issues are often what break up a marriage, so it's especially important to talk about money in a productive, honest way. Be as blunt and open with each other as you can so that there is no hidden resentment about how your money is being spent. If one of you is unhappy about the way money is handled in your household, deal with it immediately. Of course, you should always be tactful, but you should also be able to freely discuss your concerns. Don't keep any anxieties to yourself because that won't help either of you. Remember that you're a team."

"My husband had a sudden downturn in his income level, which can be a devastating blow to some men's self-esteem. Many men seem to base their self-worth on how much they earn. I found that reassuring him about all the other qualities I love about him was very helpful. I also reminded him that any money coming into the house was always for both of us, regardless of who earned it."

"Don't whine and complain to your family about your spouse on a regular basis. Keep in mind that your family (and friends) will always -- or at least usually -- side with you even when you're wrong. If you constantly complain about your spouse to your family and friends, they will start to dislike him, which will cause you all sorts of difficulties later."

"When I first got married, I found that I was doing almost everything that needed to be done around the house. Finally I sat down and wrote out a list of what I did and what my husband did, and I showed it to him. He couldn't believe it; he had a very different perception of his contributions. That list opened up a dialogue about the issue, and we were able to split up the tasks in a way that seemed fair to both of us."



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All problems can be solved if you talked about it as early as possible. Marriage is not all about happiness, trials come to test your relationship. Be strong and always look forward to your goal, to have a happy and healthy marriage.

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Tiny anti-snoring device that might save your marriage

A tiny box implanted in the chest could be a revolutionary cure for snoring.

The device, about the size of a matchbox, works by stimulating the muscles responsible for keeping the airways open during sleep.

The high-tech implant is so advanced it can be programmed to switch itself on at the patient's usual bedtime and turn itself off around the time they wake up.
Noisy nights: Sleep apnoea affects three million Britons

Noisy nights: Sleep apnoea affects three million Britons

The patient also has a hand-held device to control the implant, in case they decide to stay up late or have a lie-in.

Although the device - called the Apnex System - is still undergoing testing, it could eventually help thousands of people who suffer from sleep apnoea, the snoringrelated condition that affects around three million Britons.

As sleep begins, the muscles in the airway relax. For most people this does not pose a problem. But in sleep apnoea it leads to a complete collapse, which shuts off breathing for at least ten seconds.

Once the brain realises breathing has stopped, it sends a signal for the airway muscles to contract again. This opens the airway and the sufferer normally wakes with a jolt.

In mild sleep apnoea, this can happen about once every ten minutes. If it's severe, it means sleep can be disturbed every couple of minutes.

Very few people remember waking up at all because they fall asleep again within seconds. Yet the cumulative effect is that they feel exhausted during the day.

Sleep apnoea is common in middle-aged men who are overweight, because excess fat around the neck puts pressure on the airways during sleep. Left untreated,it can raise the risk of high blood pressure and heart attacks.

Treatment normally begins with trying to lose weight. But many patients need a therapy called nasal Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP). This involves wearing a mask over the nose and mouth during sleep.

The mask is attached to a machine that increases the pressure of the air that is being inhaled.

This prevents the airway from collapsing, improves sleep and leads to better concentration during the day.

The treatment is very effective. But some people find the mask cumbersome. And it must be worn every night.

Other devices include special dental splints, which are worn at night in much the same way as a mouth-guard.

These work by pulling the lower jaw forward, so that the airway cannot collapse. But as sleep apnoea is such a common ailment, scientists have been busy searching for other solutions. The Apnex implant could be the answer.

The patient is given a general anaesthetic and surgeons implant the device beneath the collarbone on the right side of the torso. Two leads are wired up to muscles in the chest. Their job is to monitor breathing rate.

A separate lead is then tunnelled under the skin to the hypoglossal nerve, which is found underneath the tongue and is responsible for activating the muscles around the throat.

When the device is turned on, the sensors in the chest tell it when the patient is breathing in and out. The implant then sends a signal to stimulate the nerve during inhalation.

Once the hypoglossal nerve has been stimulated, it gets the muscles around the throat working properly so breathing is not disrupted and there is no snoring. Trials are under way in the U.S. and Australia, and the implant could be available in the UK within three years.

Professor John Stradling, an expert in respiratory medicine at the Churchill Hospital in Oxford, said the science behind the device was 'entirely plausible' and that stimulating the hypoglossal nerve will keep sleep apnoea at bay.

But he added that previous attempts to make similar devices have had mixed results.

'They worked to some extent,' he said. 'But there were reports that patients could feel the device during the night, which kept them awake just as much as the sleep apnoea. And in some early models, the wires broke.

'It also involves surgery, whereas the current CPAP treatment does not. I think this device might suit a few people, but it is a long way from becoming standard treatment.'



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I guess, if you really love you husband and wife you can get used to if he snores. Maybe he have a heart problem that's why he snores.

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How to Save Your Marriage When It’s Horribly Fractured

A marriage that you may deem horribly fractured may be repaired by simply doing a little mending to a broken heart that’s hurt and lonely.  Often times, a few minor things that go wrong in a relationship can fester into one big sore that only a doctor can remove.

Never underestimate the effect little thoughtless acts can have on a marriage whether newlyweds or mature couples.

Any marriage can get caught up in the day to day pressures of family and trying to make a living as you neglect the one person who’s vitally important; and that’s your spouse.  Without him or her, excluding children of course, all the work and planning would be worth nothing.  A fractured marriage may just require a little attention.

Spend quality time with each other.  It’s easy to think you do but keep an honest record of the actual time you’re with your spouse and how much time you spend with friends, children, work and doing household chores.  You may be surprised to find how little time you spend with your spouse, leaving one or both feeling badly neglected and unloved.

If too much of your time is being spent with friends and volunteer work, learn how to say no.  Change these habits to being together with friends or volunteer to work on the same project together.  Common goals create common interests which help a relationship bond.

Connect with each other every day with something meaningful and personal.  Simple pleasures are often best such as a walk in the park.  Take time to sip on wine while listening to music together, go to a movie or concert, dress up and treat it like a date.  Exercise together or ride a bike.  With some of these things you gain health benefits along with emotional.

You must talk with each other and communicate.  Describe your feelings on a regular basis.  Be descriptive and creative in your descriptions.  Focus on your feelings rather than your thoughts and be honest.  Share your good feelings along with the bad.  If you’re apart, then send emails with your feelings.  It may be easier to write them than say them.

When talking, give each other your undivided attention.  Don’t watch TV or glance at a magazine while talking. Respond without being critical.  Make eye contact.  Hold hands.

Smile and be supportive even if you don’t agree with everything being said.

Bring romance back into your life.  Hug often and touch each other even if just in passing.  As the old song goes, “Give me your hand when I cross the street, say I look nice when I’m not.”  Yes, little things can mean a lot when it comes to healing a lonely heart.  Tell your spouse you love him or her and think of different ways to say it, perhaps in a foreign language.

If your marriage has become boring and routine, be more spontaneous.  Take a trip on the spur of the moment or at least drive to a nearby town to a romantic restaurant and sneak a kiss when no one is looking.  Saving a fractured marriage can be as easy as getting out of your own little world and becoming a part of theirs.




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That's very true. Every couple should ha "WE" time together. Spend more time with each other maybe once a week date will be good.
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